Unrequited
by InsideOutsideWithin2468
Summary: Two Part Story Elijah/OC


If anyone were to ask Alia Bennett how or when it happens, she probably wouldn't be able to say.

The why is much, much easier.

It's Elijah.

There's really no other explanation needed.

If she were more romantic she might even call it inevitable, but that's one of those fanciful words for those with purer hearts.

Still though, she is probably going to have to figure out a way to explain to her best friend (only friend outside of her family) that she died in a life where vampires weren't a thing, woke up as a Bennett, lived twenty three years of her life as one, only to come to the life altering conclusion that she is in love with Elijah Mikaelson.

It's borderline pathetic, really, that this is all happening now, just two days before Bonnie, her little sister, turns twenty one and summer ends, and doesn't she just have the worst timing?

It's just she spent most of the summer with Elijah, enjoying every minute of him talking to her, hardly even noticing how much time she truly spent with him until Bonnie pointed it out.

Regardless, now she has to take the next step and tell him. She even waited a month after understanding her feelings to make sure she wasn't being delusional.

She's not.

She's very much in love, even if Elijah has been acting differently these past few weeks. He gets this way sometimes, when Niklaus does something reckless, or Rebekah's heart breaks, or when Kol decides to burn everything around him, because in the mind of Elijah Mikaelson all of this is entirely his responsibility. All the pressure and responsibility and these expectations that he tries to put on himself, and Alia has never been able to convince him that it's all in his head.

He's stubborn like that.

So is Alia, apparently, because today is the day.

Alia woke up this morning just knowing that today would be the day she would confess her feelings. God, is it supposed to be this hard?

This is Elijah: her friend. The two of them have been nearly inseparable since Elijah first came to Mystic Falls, nearly five whole years ago.

Alia was shy and quiet, and Elijah was not.

And she can't help but feeling as though everything has been overlapping for much longer than she has been able to calculate. She would give herself a headache trying to figure it out. Maybe she'll ask Bonnie to do the math, on one of those days when she claims she's bored enough to plan a murder.

Normally, Alia tells Elijah she loves him all the time. It started when they first became friends, because she does truly love all of her friends, regardless the words were rather meaningless compared to now. But Alia hadn't been able to say them now without breaking into a nervous sweat or having her heart rate rise at the mere anxiety of it all. If that wasn't enough she had to deal with the sudden reaction to Elijah's general attractiveness.

She thinks Elijah has picked up on the fact something is bothering her, which is why he agreed to come meet her at the hidden library as soon as Alia had asked.

Which is why they are sitting here, an odd tension between them that normally isn't there.

She keeps playing with the ends of her hair, a nervous tic, because God, does Elijah even think of her like that? What happens then? What will Alia do if Elijah doesn't feel anything besides friendship for her? How naïve is she to think that he would-

"Alia."

Elijah's voice is a low timbre, soothing, even if there is confusion and concern dancing in those dark eyes of his and something else that makes Alia want to reach out and smooth the crease in his brow.

"Has something happened?" Elijah asks, carefully. "You can tell me anything." His mouth quirks up ever so slightly trying to ease them both. "You usually do."

Alia rolls her eyes. "Finding Qetsiyah's grimoire _was_ exciting," she defends. "And horrifying."

"Definitely the latter," Elijah says, his eyes shinning with mirth. "Are we going to have a discussion about the other repercussions you have encountered needlessly, which easily could have been avoided had you listened and been patient?"

The girl nearly growls, her eyes narrowing defensively. "No."

"Are you in danger?"

"No."

Elijah reaches for a book, running his fingers over the spine. "What is it then?" he questions quietly. "You are avoiding my eyes."

_Have you seen your eyes?_

Alia shakes her head trying to clear it. "I've been thinking," she starts, trying desperately to recall the speech she had prepared. She had an index card but she knew that would most definitely be too much. It would also be a little rehearsed that way, she wanted her feelings to pour out of her. Openly, freely.

"That's unfortunate."

Alia slaps at the Mikaelson's arm. "Stop," she murmurs. "I'm trying to tell you something very serious."

Elijah tilts his head, his attention focusing so intently on her, she almost wants to wilt away. "I'm listening."

Alia closes her eyes and sucks in a sharp breath. "I've been thinking," she says again, wincing at the repetition, "about things." Why is she so bad at this? This is not at all how she wanted to start this, "About myself, and about you and us and...things."

Elijah's brow furrows. He knows above all else how Alia values words. She prides herself on eloquence, on making sure every words she says matters and this-this is not like her. "_Angel?_"

And the pet name did nothing to calm her down, in any way.

"This summer was good...right? I mean I know there were a lot of problems with the Salvatore's and enemies and magic and blood but overall...being my friend was good right?"

Elijah nods, a small smile on his lips. "Some of the best days of my life were spent with you."

For a moment, Alia gets caught off guard because there is just this faraway look in his eyes, and he seems almost somber.

"Alia, I'm still unsure what it is you need to tell me?"

"Okay. Um, yes," she wrings her fingers together, gathering her courage. She's not one for keeping things bottled up inside, or else they ruin her insides. "See, the thing is," she mutters. "I kind of had this epiphany, about how I feel-" she stops at the sound of Elijah's phone ringing.

Elijah glances at whoever's name it is that comes up, not even hesitating before he answers it, and Alia loses her thunder in an instant. It just disappears because she suddenly knows they aren't having this conversation today.

Or, any day.

Because the way Elijah says, "Hello," with the kind of softness that makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She's never heard that tone of voice from him before, and-

"I'll be there soon," he lets out quietly, intimate almost. "I promised I wouldn't be late, and you know how I am about my promises." He lets out this light chuckle she doesn't recognize and Alia finds herself inching away without even realizing it.

Oh.

_Oh. _

Even though Alia has never heard that tone of voice from him before she knows, knows that whoever was on the other side of that phone was responsible for it. And it's a kick to the stomach and an arrow through the heart when she realizes.

Oh.

"I won't forget," and his face is so serious, and warm and...loving. "Goodbye, I will be there soon."

Alia doesn't move when Elijah hangs up. She's completely ridged, and still, and completely terrified of what will happen if she uncoils.

"Sorry about the interruption," Elijah says, putting his phone back in his pocket. "What were you saying?"

Alia focuses on her breathing, because she needs something to focus on and she also needs to breathe. It's a win-win. "Oh," she says, finding her voice. She audibly swallows. "It's - it's not important," she says. "You have somewhere to be, anyway."

"It can wait," Elijah argues, because he's too polite, sometimes.

"No," Alia says, and her voice sounds strained to her own years. She hopes Elijah won't pick up on it. "Really, it's okay. It was nothing. I can tell you another time."

She'll need to come up with something, and she'll need _time_ to do that. And a clear head. That, she definitely needs, and that's not going to happen with Elijah still sitting right here, him on full display and toned arms within touching distance.

"Are you completely sure?" Elijah asks, but Alia can tell it's out of politeness. He wants the out as much as Alia wants to give it.

"Yes," Alia says.

"Okay."

It takes another two minutes, but Elijah does eventually take his leave, a certain hurriedness in his step that makes Alia wonder how she didn't notice before. She watches him disappear up the steps, and she can't help thinking about how she missed the signs.

Maybe she's been so focused on her own changing feelings that she didn't even notice Elijah's. It's so obvious now. If that phone call wasn't an indicator, Elijah has been a little lighter, smilier and a bit harder to make plans with.

The realisation is sobering, to say the least.

Alia doesn't move for the longest time. She doesn't do anything for even longer. All she can really think is that Elijah hasn't told her. Elijah has kept this from her, and she can't figure out why. And, Elijah just hasn't told her about this new person who's making him smile, and Alia feels a sense of betrayal and disjoint that makes her hate this unknown person she hasn't even met.

It sucks.

It sucks even more because Alia was _this close_ to figuring it out. Weeks, at most, but now she's too late, and it's uncomfortable. _She's_ uncomfortable, because she's supposed to be able to talk to her best friend about this kind of thing. But, now, out of nowhere, she feels as if everything has changed. In the blink of an eye, the balance of their relationship has shifted, and this is not what she expected when she woke up this morning.

She envisioned them having a conversation, at least. She expected _something_, but now Elijah is gone off to meet some stranger, and there are things they aren't talking about.

Alia doesn't handle secrets well. They eat away at her until she can't handle it, and it all reaches her head. They twist her insides into something ugly.

She's also a terrible liar.

Elijah is a brilliant one, though he hates to do it.

Alia is still sitting there when Bonnie comes looking for her, her steps heavy.

"There you are," Bonnie says, her grin easy until she sees the look on her sister's face. It's nothing she's ever seen before, and she rushes towards her, noting how pale she is. "Alia," she says, settling on the couch beside her. "Alia, what's wrong?"

It takes a while for her to turn her head and look at Bonnie, her gaze unfocused. "Bonnie," she breathes. "I - I had this plan," she forces out. "I had it all planned out, but it - it didn't - " she stops, blows out a breath and then shakes her head. "Plans never work out, do they?"

Bonnie doesn't know what to say to her, because she's never been able to handle her sister like this. Still, she clears her throat and says, "No, I don't suppose they do."

"It sucks."

"Yes, it does."

Alia shifts closer, seeking comfort that Bonnie willingly gives, wrapping her in a hug she hopes will help. She doesn't say anything more, and Bonnie doesn't know what questions to ask.

So, they sit in silence and, when they go home for dinner, Alia's eyes aren't as empty and she can almost forget her sister is haunted by something.

* * *

By morning, Alia is completely back to normal, according to what Bonnie can see, anyways. She's a little fidgety and she's surprised to find her big sister without her phone, but her eyes are focused and she eats all her breakfast.

It's her last day of summer and it would usually be spent with Elijah, but Alia made up some excuse about Bonnie needing her help with something, and now she's sitting in her meadow, her headphones blasting and her mind blissfully silent.

She didn't get much sleep the night before, but that was to be expected. She had a plan, and it failed. It will continue to fail, because there's no way she can tell Elijah how she feels now. It's the worst timing imaginable, and Alia needs to come to terms with the very real truth that she has feelings that will never come out.

She almost laughs, she thinks she could be happy alone, and she really has all the people she needs in her life, already. Elijah is still her best friend, even if Elijah hasn't told her about whoever he's seeing.

Alia has Rebekah, who's been her second sister since they first met. Then, there's Matt, they practically grew up together at daycare, the two of them making all sorts of trouble.

Not much has changed, really.

Then, there's Kol, who Alia adores in a way she knows he's never quite been satisfied with. They're friends, and Alia knows that's all they'll ever be. She just needs to get to that point with Elijah, and then she'll be good to go.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

She just needs the day to wrap her head around it, but Elijah isn't letting her have her peace. He keeps calling and when that doesn't work he texts (which he absolutely despises doing), almost constantly, and Alia is tempted to turn off her phone completely.

**Elijah**: _Alia. Alia. What are you doing?_

**Elijah**: _Are you done helping Bonnie? We have plans._

**Elijah**: _I bought your favourite _Hershey's_ Kisses. I'll eat them all if you don't reply._

**Elijah**: _Are you okay?_

**Elijah**: _Is this about what you wanted to tell me yesterday?_

**Elijah**: _If you don't reply, I'm going to hunt down Bonnie._

Now, that definitely gets Alia's attention and she scrambles to reply before Bonnie ends up blowing her cover. Fucking Elijah.

**Alia**: _You should be arrested for spam. I'm reporting you._

**Elijah**: _She lives after all. Where are you? _

Alia needs the day.

She needs it, but she doesn't know how to ask for it. She's never needed space from Elijah before. It's like asking to be doused in paraffin and set on fire.

**Alia**: _Didn't Klaus need your help with something?_

Elijah: _It's handled__. I can come get you, and we can drive up to our place. It is tradition after all. _

Alia both loves and hates tradition, but she eventually gives in and texts Elijah where she is.

Inevitable, she thinks, and she can only hope that getting over Elijah will be easier to do than she suspects it'll be.

**Elijah**: _On my way_.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet."

Alia has no idea how to respond to that, which merely proves the point. She sighs, glancing over the console at Elijah, whose own grip on his steering wheel is white-knuckled.

"Is there something wrong?" Elijah questions.

Alia almost scoffs, because that's the understatement of the century. "Not really," she half-lies. "I guess I'm just tired."

Elijah hums. "Nightmares again?" His brow is furrowed and he knows how badly her mind can turn against her.

"Just couldn't sleep," Alia says, turning her head to look out the window at the trees rolling by.

"What did Bonnie need your help with?"

Alia feels her stomach clench as she bites at her bottom lip, "Math homework."

Elijah raises a brow. "You hate math."

Swallowing she forces a smile. "We were hating it together."

If Elijah picks up on the sudden melancholy in her voice, he doesn't mention it. Alia uses the opportunity to increase the volume on the radio and they drive the rest of the way in silence. Silences with Elijah are generally comforting for Alia, but this trip is different. This time, there are things she knows and there are things she's hiding, and it's all just adding to her stress.

Also, Alia did the thing and used some magic to figure out her own best friend because she needed to be sure. She needed to know that she wasn't imagining anything.

It was there, as clear as day.

_Katerina Petrova. _

Of course, she may not be Elena but she has the same magnetic draw. And compared to her, Alia is nothing.

Alia thinks it was a bad idea going looking, but she also wants to be prepared. She didn't want to be completely blindsided.

They get to the patisserie quickly enough, and she is thankful to be out of the enclosed space of the car. She needs to breathe air that isn't Elijah, and she needs to put some space between them.

She needed a day.

Just one.

But, it takes Elijah playfully ordering her a banana split when he knows how much Alia hates bananas for Alia to realise it's probably going to take more than a day. It doesn't help that his eyes light up just right and his smile is mischievous. It also doesn't help that he goes on to order red velvet cheesecake a beat later, which is Alia's ultimate favorite.

A week, maybe. Surely she can get rid of all these unwanted feelings by then. They came on just as quickly, sort of, so they should go away just as fast, right?

Alia does her best to convince herself of it as she sits across from the most perfect man and watches as she sips slowly at his coffee.

They have a pattern.

They have routine and tradition, and now Alia did this thing by falling in love and it's threatening everything. Best friends aren't supposed to fall in love with their best friends. It's a rule written in best friend contracts, surely, because it's just going to end in disaster.

Alia is a little assured that their lives are somewhat separate in Mystic Falls, with Bonnie claiming to fall on one side of this war that isn't really a war at all. She has her friends, and Elijah has his family, sort of.

And he's calm. So damn calm all of the time.

Alia isn't the same, mainly because she's grown up with the child that is Bonnie Bennett. But even still she makes it too easy, sometimes, and both Rebekah and Bonnie make a game out of who can get under her skin the quickest. It's usually Rebekah, even if Bonnie knows the exact buttons to press to get a reaction out of her.

Bonnie may be a pain in her ass, but even she doesn't cross certain boundaries, mainly because Alia has several, even if she talks about them only at four o'clock in the morning when the rest of the world is dead to the night.

Elijah and Bonnie haven't really ever got along, but they did bond over the fact they care about Alia in their own ways, and that should be that.

Now, though, things have changed for Alia, and she's still unsure what's going to happen now. If she can't get over these feelings, is she going to have to take a step back?

God, she can barely imagine her life without Elijah. It's too much even to think about. Is that what's going to have to happen? Alia doesn't think she would be able to bear it. What would she even do with herself when she wakes from a nightmare in the middle of the night and can't call Elijah? Who's she supposed to tell when she gets inspired? _That's_ who Elijah is in her life.

What's going to happen now?

Alia doesn't really want to have to worry about it until she absolutely has to, but she can't help but be paranoid and prepared.

"Lijah?" Alia starts, because maybe they can still talk about this. She doesn't know if she'll be able to keep it all inside, given who she is, and she's going to have to tell someone.

It should be Elijah.

He lifts his head. "Yes"

"Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we never met?"

Elijah's eyes widen for a moment, before he nods his head once. "Sometimes," he says. "I doubt I'd still be in Mystic Falls."

"We've been through a lot, haven't we?"

Elijah nods, smiling softly at some memory.

"We've survived many things," Alia continues. "I mean, we've had our fights before, but we always make up, right? We try to be as honest with each other as possible, right?"

Here, Elijah's smile dims, and Alia tries not to react to it. They're going to get to that, eventually, and it takes all Alia has not to say _I know_.

"Yesterday, I was going to tell you about - "

Elijah's phone rings.

It's the Universe, Alia thinks. The Universe doesn't want her to tell Elijah, and maybe she should listen. She _has_ to listen, because it's also this Universe that has Elijah answering his phone immediately, that same, smile on his face, and Alia has to look away.

She tries not to listen to the conversation by focusing on keeping her breathing steady.

_In and out._

_In._

_Out._

_In._

When Elijah gets off the phone, he gets this suddenly guilty look on his face, as if he's doing something wrong. He is, obviously, but Alia is too afraid to figure out _which_ part of whatever he's doing she deems wrong. What if it's her? What if it's Alia who's wrong?

_Out_.

"You have to go," Alia says, her eyes on the empty cheesecake plate in front of her. She doesn't even remember eating it.

Elijah frowns. "I'm sorry."

Alia didn't actually ask the day before, but she's a little more settled today than she was yesterday. "Who was that, anyway?" she asks, unsure if she wants Elijah to lie to her or not.

The second Elijah opens his mouth, Alia is suddenly very sure. "Oh, just Niklaus," he says, and Alia hates him. Just for a moment, she hates Elijah, and it's the most foreign feeling she's ever had.

"A problem?" Alia asks, ever the masochist.

Elijah lies and lies. "Yes," she says. "They need me."

"I thought you said you were done?"

"I did, and I was," Elijah says; "but they need me again."

"Oh?" Alia asks. "Why's that?"

Elijah looks calm, cool and collected, and Alia wonders how much more Elijah is going to put them through before he just comes clean. "I don't know," Elijah says, raising a hand to get their server's attention to get the check. "I guess I'll see when I get there."

Alia just nods as she reaches for her phone, where she keeps her bank card tucked away in its case.

Tradition is that Elijah always pays at this particular patisserie, so he raises his eyebrows in question when the check arrives, but Alia ignores him and stubbornly pays.

Alia wanted the day and Elijah robbed her of it, and now he's just going to up and lie to her about where he's running off to. The nerve.

The ride home is made in tense silence, and, when they get closer and closer to their destinations, Alia tries one more time.

"Will it take long?"

"What?"

"Whatever this thing is that you have to do," Alia says. "I don't mind waiting for you."

Elijah's grip on the steering wheel shifts, and Alia just knows. "I don't know how long it'll take," he says, keeping his gaze firmly facing forward. "I wouldn't want you to wait for me."

"I could find something to do," she pushes. "I could sketch. I don't really mind. We had plans, anyway."

Elijah sighs. "Alia."

She looks away.

"I wouldn't be able to focus with you there."

Alia clenches her jaw, and maybe this is _the moment_. The moment that breaks them. She doesn't know why Elijah won't just come out with it. Why is it some big secret? "Right. Okay."

Elijah sighs again. "I'm - "

"It's fine," Alia interrupts. "Just take me home, and then you're free to go and do whatever it is you've been summoned to do."

He looks at her - Alia can feel his gaze on her - but he says nothing.

Elijah is a brilliant liar, but he's never really been able to lie to her.

Still, just to be sure, Alia calls Klaus. She very casually asks about Elijah, but he says he hasn't seen him since before he went to get her.

It might be what she was expecting to hear, but it still stings in a way she can't quite fathom. She quietly thanks Klaus, hangs up, heads upstairs and curls into her sister's side on her bed, soaking up some of her warmth.

Bonnie, obviously, doesn't know what's going on, but she kisses the top of her head, draws her closer, and it's exactly what she needs.

* * *

The thing is they have this one very special tradition.

Well, okay, they have a lot of them, but there's this very specific one that they do.

They've been doing the same thing since they first started being friends, and even Bonnie knows about it, every Monday she goes over to the Mikaelson manner and they exchange books they think the other would enjoy, or hate, or love.

It's their thing.

Even Klaus and Rebekah know not to encroach on the tradition, so Alia drives herself to the Mikaelson manner and sits in her spot.

She gets greeted by hybrids as they walk past, and she has a few short conversations with some of the ones she's closer to about how their days have gone. Rebekah talks to her for a little bit, so does Klaus and Kol, but they eventually all leave. They all know she is waiting for Elijah.

Elijah's never late.

Usually he's there before her.

Which is why Alia starts to get antsy as the minutes tick by. She considers calling him, but she doesn't want him to have to answer if he's busy.

She shoots off a text, quickly, just a casual _where are you_?, but she doesn't get an immediate reply.

Probably busy, then.

Ten minutes pass.

Fifteen.

Twenty.

Twenty-five.

And then Bonnie is calling her, and Alia doesn't want to be late for her sister's birthday breakfast. But Elijah. Where is Elijah? She checks her phone again. Nothing. Maybe she should call him? Just, somebody who would -

Her train of thought is completely derailed when she sees them.

Elijah and Katerina. They pull up in his car, she can see them clearly through the window. Elijah knows it's dangerous to bring her around Klaus but Alia is sure they have found a way to guarantee her freedom.

This Elijah that Alia suddenly doesn't want to see. Feels as if she no longer knows.

The smile on his face is blinding.

It was a mistake to stay.

Everything.

It's all just a mistake.

She sucks in a sharp breath and turns away immediately. She has Elijah's book in her hand, and she doesn't know what to do with it. She wants to get rid of it, she couldn't bare to throw a book away, so when she sees Klaus pass by she hands it to him.

She doesn't wait for his reaction; just slips out the back door and wills herself not to cry.

* * *

The arrangement is easily guaranteed. After all, Katerina and Elijah have been working tirelessly on a way to force his brother's hand. And although the original hybrid is upset, he agrees.

Elijah is about to leave when he notices the book in his brother's hand. It's brown and leather and relatively new, undoubtedly. It's one of _Alia's_ and, the second he realizes it, he freezes. Right in the doorway.

Oh.

Oh, no.

His eyes quickly scan the room, searching for her, but she's not here, and Elijah didn't bother to check that she was even here because Katerina needed -

"Elijah?"

His snaps his attention towards Niklaus.

"If she steps out of line I will remove her heart."

He blinks once, twice, and then makes his way towards Katerina.

Would Alia be mad enough to forsake him? Elijah pulls out his phone to check and, from the two texts he finds from Alia: _where are you_? and _never mind_, Elijah thinks he's answered his own question.

Katerina is a relief and a pleasant distraction from his Alia situation, and it's really the first time he realises just how little he's thought this through.

He hasn't even told Alia about Katerina, and now the girl is here and -

"I'm free," Katerina whispers to him, a smile on her face.

Elijah smiles at her. "That you are."

He is charmed, there's no doubt about it, and this girl allows him to forget that he has all these pressures and expectations of himself and he can just be.

This relationship has allowed him to forget; to move on. To be smart about his heart.

Katerina helps quiet his mind, and it's something he's desperate to hold onto, as selfish as it makes him. He can worry about the rest of the world later.

Or until later that day and he goes searching for Alia and can't find her anywhere.

Which is why it's almost a relief when he sees her boyfriend, Mason Lockwood, sitting at the bar in the Mystic Grill.

"Mason."

His eyes widen when he turns, and he feels an odd sense of satisfaction. They've never really talked before. Alia is the only thing that even ties them together, and he's pretty sure she's the only thing they even have in common. He's never approached him before, but this is important.

"Have you seen Alia?" Elijah asks.

Mason looks stumped for a moment. "Uh, no," he says.

"Do you know where she is?"

"No," he says, frowning now. "Seriously, is this some kind of joke of something? I haven't seen Alia and I don't know where she is and I'm not going to know."

"What do you mean?"

Mason studies him for a moment, and then he clicks, looking stumped again. "Didn't she tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Alia broke up with me like two months ago," he says, his voice sounding odd. "Why wouldn't she tell you?"

Elijah's brain short circuits, and it takes him far too long to respond. "Of course." He shakes his head. "Must have forgotten." He doesn't hang around as he spins on his heel and walks away, his brain trying to compute what Mason has just told him.

Alia broke up with him.

Almost two months ago.

Alia and Mason are no longer together.

Alia is single.

Alia didn't tell him.

Alia wanted to tell him something the other day, but he had to -

Elijah feels a soft hand on the back of his neck and, for a moment, he imagines it's Alia who's come to find him, but one turn of his head reveals Katerina and her dangerous smirk.

"Exhausted already?" Katerina asks, smiling knowingly.

"Long day."

"I assume this town has a library."

"Libraries aren't for resting, Katerina."

Her smirk turns devilish. "Are they for other things then?"

And, just like that, his exhaustion is gone. Everything else disappears from his brain, and it's so pathetic how easily distracted he is.

Wait.

Alia.

_Alia_.

He's supposed to be looking for her. Apologising to her.

But, then, Katerina is grabbing his hand, and _what was he thinking about again_?

* * *

Alia takes the afternoon.

She goes to her room, blasts her music, and paints her feelings away.

She feels more like herself when she emerges from her self-imposed isolation, covered in paint and her eyes hidden behind her hair. She's starving, and she's pretty sure there's food somewhere downstairs. She doesn't bother cleaning up as she heads down the steps, feeling chipper than she has since she first looked at Elijah and wondered what he tasted like.

And she forces a smile when she sees Bonnie and hands her a gift and pretends she feels all the great things that she should.

* * *

A day, an afternoon, a week, the whole fucking year.

No amount of time could have ever prepared Alia for actually witnessing Elijah _be_ with Katerina. There's a very formal introduction Elijah makes the next morning, and Alia does her best not to say _oh, we've already met_ as she shakes Katerina's hand.

She thinks she might have hung around a bit longer, but then Katerina's hand was in Elijah's hair and Elijah was looking at her with this expression that sparked jealousy and such deep, deep sadness inside of her that Alia had to make an excuse and leave.

Neither of them noticed, and she can't decide if it's a good or bad thing.

She tries her best to hide it and get better.

What she doesn't expect, once she's taken her seat at the Grill next to Matt is for Rebekah to round on her and very bluntly ask, "Why the fuck does Mason Lockwood think it's okay to hit on me?"

Alia blinks in surprise. "What?"

"Why is your boyfriend flirting with me?" Rebekah questions, the table quiets around them.

"Oh, um, he's not my boyfriend anymore," she forces herself to say. "Though, it's kind of a dick move to go after one of my closest friends."

"Wait," Matt says, "You broke up?"

Alia reaches for her water and carefully takes a sip. "Yep."

"What? Since when?"

"It's about two months now," she says.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Alia shrugs. "It was just a thing. I'm fine. There was no heartbreak or sob session. It just felt like time, so I ended it. It's over."

"Why?" Matt asks.

"Why what?"

"Why was it time? Did something happen?"

Alia glances away for a moment, which is a mistake, because her eyes settle on Elijah, who's sitting with Katerina. She winces despite herself, and then clears her throat. "Nothing happened," Alia says. "But, I got the feeling something might. I guess I just wasn't as in to him as I thought, and boys don't really wait around very long when that happens."

Rebekah huffs out a breath. "Boys are assholes."

Alia just hums.

Somehow, in the middle of all of that, she thinks she fell in love with Elijah, and that makes all the difference.

Well.

That means nothing now.

"I'm sorry, anyway," Matt says, patting Alia's forearm. "Breakups suck."

Alia just shrugs again. The breakup isn't what's hurting her, but she'll happily use it as an excuse for her melancholy.

God, she's in love with him, and she just knows it's going to break her.

"We should totally do something this weekend," Rebekah suggests, bouncing slightly. "Just the three of us."

Alia nods. "As long as it's nothing illegal, I'm game for anything."

Rebekah sighs dramatically. "Just taking away all my fun."

* * *

Alia gets the weekend, and it's blissful.

So, so blissful.

She doesn't have to deal with Elijah or Katerina or any of those confusing feelings that come along with them. Instead, she focuses on her other two best friends and loses herself in shopping, bad movies and the arcade. It's good, clean, exciting fun, and Alia can almost forget that her world is seconds from tipping over.

The truth is she hasn't gone an entire weekend without seeing Elijah unless one of them is out of town since they became friends, and the truth of it slams hard into her chest on Sunday evening when she's catching up on her college homework.

She stills at the thought, her heart pounding in a way that can't be healthy. It's already started, and she's powerless. How does she stop it? Does she even want to?

Alia doesn't handle conflict well. She also doesn't handle silence any better, which is why she reaches for her phone and sends off a text that she would have been certain of its response a week ago.

Now, she's not so sure.

Of anything.

Still, she gets up from her desk and puts on her shoes. It's warm enough outside that she won't need any additional clothing. She just wants to take a short walk, see Elijah, hopefully feel settled again, and then return to her English Lit. homework.

It's a simple request.

And, as Alia is leaving her room, suddenly feeling lighter, that request gets denied.

Alia freezes in her doorway, her eyes taking in the words on the screen of her phone as if they don't make any sense.

Except they do.

Everything suddenly becomes very, very clear.

* * *

Rebekah is the one who notices it first, though Alia isn't too surprised about that. She's always been a little too nosy for her own good. Observant in all the best and worst ways.

The problem is that Alia can't shake it.

The flinches and the reluctance and the way she sometimes can't help but stare at Elijah and wonder if he has actually figured it out and is distancing himself because he's too polite for proper rejection.

Whatever it is, it hurts, and, when Alia's excuse of moping over Mason runs out, Rebekah figures it out and very carefully invites her to the Grill with the intention of doing that thing they don't do and actually talk about things.

Rebekah buys them milkshakes while Alia settles into a booth with her feet up on the seat and her chin resting on her knees. To Rebekah, she looks miserable now that she knows to look, and she can't even imagine how Elijah can't have noticed.

Her brother has been preoccupied, sure, but Alia has always been an open book to him. It makes Rebekah worry for what's _really_ going on here.

"So, _Oreos_ make everything better, right?"

Alia manages a smile. "I don't know why you think anything is wrong."

Rebekah rolls her eyes as she settles beside Alia, instead of opposite her. "I'm a certified genius, you know?"

"I don't think there's been a day you've let me forget," Alia muses, dragging her milkshake closer to her. "Thanks for this, by the way. I can't remember the last time I was treated to anything."

Rebekah frowns. "Don't you and Elijah usually drive out to that place in Willowy for their cheesecake like all the time?"

Alia looks away. "We haven't done that in a while."

"Oh," Rebekah sounds, wondering if she has the stomach for this. Alia obviously doesn't want to talk about it, and Rebekah doesn't know if she has the patience to draw it out of her. "Katherine, huh?"

When Alia flinches this time, Rebekah sees it. "I guess," she says, vaguely. "New relationships and all that. I get it."

"Yeah."

Alia sighs. "We both know you know," she says. "We really don't have to talk about it."

Rebekah pats her knee. "I told you men are assholes."

Alia rolls her eyes. "Probably, but I'm going to go with saying I'm bisexual, so I don't think I can write them off completely," she says, frowning slightly. "You're the first person I've actually told."

Rebekah looks surprised by that. "Not even Elijah?"

Alia shakes her head.

"Your sister?"

Alia shrugs. "It's obvious she wouldn't care or judge me or anything, and I don't care what my dad thinks, but none of it even matters now, does it?"

And, this is why Rebekah is no good at these types of things. She has no idea what to say. Which is why she resorts to terrible jokes. "Are you sure you're bisexual? Or are you just me-sexual?"

Alia chuckles, covering her eyes with her hand. "You wish."

"I'm hot."

Alia just sips her drink again.

"Are you okay, though?" Rebekah asks, and her voice is soft, too much and too little at the same time.

Alia opens her mouth to reply that she is, her automatic response, but the words don't come. "Not really," she eventually says. "I was going to tell him, you know? I broke up with Mason, took some time to re-evaluate, and then I was going to tell him." She drops her gaze. "But, then, I found out about Katherine, and he just seems so happy, and I can't ruin that. I won't give him more to worry about, and I thought it would be easy, you know? I thought I could handle it. He's my best friend, and I - " she stops, shaking her head. "We barely hang out anymore...Like, can he tell? Maybe I've just never been as invested in a romantic relationship as Elijah seems to be in his, so I wouldn't know. And, I guess that's just it, right? I don't know anything about his relationship, because he's never talked to me about it. I had to find out myself. He actively lied about it, to my face, and I don't understand why. I don't - I can't - _Rebekah_."

"Fuck," Rebekah says. "Please don't cry. I really won't know what to do if you cry."

Alia lets out a wet laugh. "I'm fine," she says. "I promise I'm fine. It's just - it sucks. It really just fucking sucks."

"It feels like you're losing him."

"No," Alia says, and her voice comes out hollow. "It's worse than that. It feels as if I already have." And, what's worse is she has no idea when that happened.

* * *

Art has always been her safe haven and as a result her work turns darker.

Klaus called it oddly refreshing and interesting.

She's been working on an idea for her semester project, but it's not really coming together as easily as she wants. It's going to require some engineering, and she needs someone who might know something about this.

Which is why she goes to Klaus.

Klaus pulls her into a hug, burying her in his warm frame and making her giggle. "I feel as if I haven't seen you in forever," he complains. "Where have you been hiding?"

Alia feels a flash of guilt that she does her best to suppress. "Just been busy," she says, stepping away from him and peeking at his canvas. "Is Elijah around?"

"Is he ever these days?"

Alia is both relieved and disappointed. "Well, I came to see you, anyway."

"Any specific reason?"

"Sort of," she says, leaning against the counter. "I have this idea for an Art project, and I was wondering if I could run it by you."

"Why me?"

"Well, you're the most talented artist I know."

"True. Why didn't you ask Bonnie?"

"She loves me too much to tell me if my idea is shit."

Klaus guffaws, warm and loud. "That is true," he says. "Let us discuss your diabolical plans."

Wow, she's really missed him.

It's a sentiment that merely grows as the two of them spend the next ninety minutes working through Alia's idea and sketching out plans in her various sketchbooks. She knows she could potentially just buy what she needs or even find it in some abandoned place somewhere, but she kind of wants to build it herself.

He throws some paint at her and she throws it back until they land on a messy heap on the floor.

Which is how Elijah finds them when he enters the room a moment later, Katerina hanging off his arm, and looking as confused as ever.

Alia's laughter comes to an abrupt end at the sight of them because, God, is that a rapidly healing hickey on Katerina's neck?

"Katerina," Klaus says from beneath her, his grip tightening around Alia's waist. Openly hostile.

"What is this?" Elijah asks quietly, his voice is darker than Alia is accustomed to, and his eyes keep jumping between Alia and Klaus.

Klaus stands, helping Alia up, and pulling her unnecessarily close, his lips pressing a kiss to her hair. Something tells her Rebekah isn't the only one to have noticed.

"Alia wanted to exchange creative interference."

Before she can stop him the original hybrid kisses her on her lips, it's chaste and sweet and she could have swooned.

But she wasn't that girl.

She playfully slaps at his chest. Before she remember Elijah is here.

And Elijah's eyes are dark, and angry, and nearly scathing. She flinches, feeling unmentionably guilty, for some unidentifiable reason.

"I was just leaving," She murmured making quick work of gathering her things. And Klaus must sense her need for escape because he helps her.

"Okay," Elijah says, his hand twitching as if he wants to reach out for Alia but actively stops himself from doing so. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Saturday," Alia says, as if it should mean something, but she's long gone before Elijah has a chance to figure it out.

* * *

"Surprisingly, Alia and Klaus make a good looking couple."

Elijah's hands tighten as he looks at Katerina. "Oh?"

And he had seen it too. Alia, the small, adorable girl with a heart of gold and a beauty that knows no bounds and his brother. Their kiss replays in his mind and he has the urge to kill his brother all over again as he feels so unreasonably cold.

* * *

"That's really good."

Alia glances over at Matt, who's studying her canvas with undisguised appreciation. "Thanks."

He steps forward, closer. "I've never really considered the way red and green can play off each other like that," he muses.

"I'm really just testing out," she tells him, adding some paint in the bottom right corner, her fingers doing the work.

The edges present a haphazard, unfocused mess, but the centre is immaculate, pristine, worked with thin brushes and impeccable technique to showcase the sunset at her meadow. She took a picture of it the other day, at the perfect light, and she couldn't resist attempting to capture it in her own way.

"I have a different idea," she tells him. "Well, a separate one."

"For your semester project?"

She nods, turning to face him. "I kind of want it to be interactive."

He grins. "You just want to show off."

She shrugs, before reaching for an old rag to wipe her hands. "I think I'd like to go out with a bang before I tie myself to whatever Science graduate school is going to claim the next four years of my young, impressionable life."

He rolls his eyes. "You confuse me, Alia Bennett."

"I confuse myself, too," she says, almost relieved to have a light conversation. So many things about her life have been oddly heavy, and she's so glad she gets this.

And, it's the second that thought crosses her mind that it all comes crashing down.

"Wow."

Matt turns to look at Katherine, who's come up behind them.

"That's beautiful, Alia," she says. "You've captured it so well."

Alia's breath catches. "Excuse me?"

"It's the meadow hidden just outside of town, isn't it? I recognise the Sycamore."

There are a lot of thoughts going off in Alia's mind, but the most prevalent is that Katherine has seen her meadow.

Katherine.

Her meadow.

Alia blinks. "It is, yeah," she says. "Have you been there?"

Katherine nods. "Elijah's taken me there a couple of times," she says, and then winks. "It's very private."

If Alia were any other person, she probably would have thrown up or done something equally as dramatic, but she doesn't, because she isn't.

Matt holds a fist out for Katherine to meet, and they share a laugh.

Maybe Alia is dying.

Maybe this is what it feels like.

Matt pats her shoulder. "Even if this doesn't make it into your final submission, it's awesome. I'd buy it from you if Elijah wouldn't fight me for it."

"You'd lose," Alia says, without thought.

"He's vicious when it comes to your art."

"Completely brutal."

"I'm pretty sure I still have nightmares from last year."

"You destroyed my drawing."

"It was an accident."

"Your face is an accident."

He laughs out loud, and Alia has never appreciated him more in her entire life. "As long as Rebekah thinks I'm hot, I don't really care what you think."

"What makes you think Rebekah thinks you're hot?"

"Uh, do I even need to - "

"No, you don't," she cuts him off, smiling, grateful and lighter. "You really, really don't."

Matt grins. "Katherine gets me," he says, winking at the other girl, who Alia managed to forget about for a few blissful seconds.

Alia stares at her painting again and wonders just how many things that once belonged to her this girl is unwittingly going to take.

* * *

A lot, apparently, which is a truth Alia learns just a few days later.

The meadow is one thing.

Her favorite place to eat.

Her place at Elijah's side.

Matt.

Probably puppies, for all Alia knows.

But, the one that hurts the most - and is the strangest, most innocuous, thing that Alia almost laughs at how ridiculous she's being - is when she hears Katherine call Elijah 'Lijah' without him saying anything about it.

For years, Alia has been the only person allowed to call him anything remotely considered a nickname. He's always claimed that he hates it from anyone other than Alia, but that's apparently not true anymore.

The moment catches Alia off guard, and her heart stutters at the same time her breath does.

Dying.

Yip, this is what it feels like, surely.

Oh.

Alia looks to Elijah, waiting, just hoping… but nothing comes.

And, just like that, Alia realizes Katherine has taken _Elijah,_ too.

* * *

Elijah doesn't realize what's happening until it's too late.

Well, even then, he still doesn't figure it out, because this is the year of many, many new things for him.

Which is why Elijah throws himself into his relationship with Katerina, spending as much of his relatively free time with her as possible.

And, it's a brutal lesson when Rebekah very casually asks, "Are you getting in on the gift Matt is trying to put together for Alia, or are you doing your own thing?"

Elijah looks up at his sister, a frown on his face."What?"

"Alia's gift," Rebekah says, as if he's the biggest idiot in the world. "Didn't Matt text you about it? There's a group chat and everything. I know technology is not your forte, but get with the times."

Elijah blinks. "Alia's gift?"

"For her birthday," Rebekah says. "Which is this weekend. Where are you right now?"

It takes a moment for Elijah to catch up. Alia's birthday. This weekend. Alia's gift.

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "You look dazed."

He feels it.

Rebekah asks. "How are you going to top last year?"

Katerina perks up beside him. "What did you get her last year?"

Elijah can't bring herself to respond, so Rebekah does it for him.

_"A whole art studio."_

"Wow."

Elijah chances a look at Katerina, and she sees something very distinct in her eyes. He clears his throat. "I can't," he says. "I don't think I could come close to doing better than that."

It's a lie.

And, now that he's being honest, he's going to have to admit that he almost forgot Alia's birthday. Alia hasn't even mentioned it, and he can't recall Rebekah doing so either. Is she having a party? She hates party's. She hates loud music and too many people. Especially on her birthday.

Katerina places a hand on his shoulder. "I noticed she was running low on those pencils she likes to use for sketching," she says. "Maybe that could be an idea."

Elijah breathes out in relief, because that's a great idea.

* * *

It's a terrible idea.

First, Elijah finds out from Rebekah that they are having a surprise party, and he means to put a stop to it because he knows how much Alia hates her birthday...what happened on her birthday, but he gets sidetracked and the day has arrived and it's too late.

He's already there and Bonnie looks at him like she doesn't know him. And it's dark and they are all hidden.

"The door's unlocked," Alia says, and she sounds a little wary. "Bonnie isn't home. Why would the door be unlocked?"

"Uh, maybe they forgot," Matt offers, and Rebekah rolls her eyes at how unconvincing he sounds.

"You've met Bonnie, right?" Alia scoffs. "Bonnie Bennett would never forget to lock the door, Matt. Do - do you think there's someone inside?"

"I can check," he says.

"What? No. Are you insane? What if there's actually someone inside?"

"I think I can handle myself."

"Matt, I love you, but you're… you. And human."

"I don't know what that means."

"Just, uh," Alia stops. "Just, never mind. Maybe we should just - "

"Alia...stop overthinking and go in."

"No I don't want your death on my conscience."

Matt opens the door and then-

"**_Surprise!_**"

Alia freezes. Terrified. She looks ready to run.

She turns on her heel and in one second she's gone, just like that.

Elijah stands to go after her, but Klaus stops him.

"I got it."

Elijah has never hated his brother more.

* * *

"I'm in love with Elijah." The words are said without so much as a sound, but Klaus still understands her.

"I know," Klaus whispers.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

Klaus draws her into a hug and presses a kiss to her temple. "It's okay."

"I - I can't," Alia says.

"You can."

"I _can't_."

"You _can_."

Alia takes a deep, slow breath. "Okay."

"You're okay," Klaus whispers. "It's okay, and I am here."

Alia takes another few breaths, seems to settle, and then straightens her spine. "It's okay," she says. "I'm okay."

Klaus pulls back a little and wipes at the tears Alia didn't even realize escaped. "You're okay."

"I'm okay."

* * *

Alia is not okay.

Well, she is until she decides she needs to use the bathroom. People are moving about, eating and chatting, and Alia uses the opportunity to sneak out to relieve her bladder.

It's a mistake.

A big, gigantic mistake.

Alia chooses the upstairs bathroom because it's more likely to be empty, and she heads up the steps quickly, her gaze focused on where she puts her feet.

Maybe it saves her, she doesn't know, because, she looks up just as Elijah and Katherine are disengaging from what appears to be an intense kiss.

Right there in the hallway.

In Alia's house.

During her birthday party.

"Oh."

Elijah and Katherine separate further at the sound of Alia's voice.

"Sorry about that," Katherine says. "Just can't help myself, sometimes."

Alia just blinks, knowing she'll be unable to speak. She just shrugs, awkwardly points to the bathroom, and then immediately slips inside without once meeting Elijah's eyes.

With the door closed behind her, Alia feels something building, suffocating. She grips the sink tightly, her knuckles turning white. She thinks maybe she should be giving herself a pep talk or something, but her voice still isn't working. God, what if she can never speak again?

And, now, she's just being dramatic.

Her grip eventually loosens and her heart rate slows.

Taking a deep breath, she finally does what she came up here to do. At least one part of her body should get some relief. She'll take any she can get.

Alia just goes through the motions, and then moves to leave. She opens the door, almost having forgotten, and three very significant things happen at the same time.

Elijah and Katherine are still there, still kissing, and Alia has enough time to feel her heart break all over again and have her face fall before Klaus appears on the landing, his voice dripping with disdain.

"Disgusting," the hybrid says. "Leave."

Elijah shoots a glare at him, not seeing Alia still standing in the doorway to the bathroom, but he does finally grab for Katherine's hand and lead her down the stairs.

Alia stands, still frozen, until Klaus is suddenly right in front of her, startling her.

"Fuck, you're pale," he says. "Why have I never noticed how deep it ran?"

Alia focuses on his voice.

"Are you about to throw up?"

"I might," Alia says without thinking, and her eyes drift to where Elijah and Katherine were just standing.

Klaus follows the movement, his brow furrowed.

"Oh, love," Klaus starts, and Alia holds out a hand to stop him.

"Don't," she says. "Please, just don't."

Klaus steps forward, and Alia takes several steps back, dropping heavily onto the edge of the bathtub.

"It's okay," Alia says. "Really, I'm okay. I'm dealing with it."

"Of course you are," Klaus says, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Alia sighs, defeated. "It's my birthday," she says. "This time, last year, I was sitting in Elijah's lap as I blew out my candles. Now, I'm catching him making out with his girlfriend in my house, at my party, when he's supposed to - "

"Supposed to what?"

Alia blinks. "I don't know if I get the right to be mad at him," she confesses. "I - I don't remember if I was this way when I was with Mason."

"Sometimes," Klaus says, a little vaguely. "But, never when it came to Elijah."

"Go figure, huh?"

"I did not see this coming."

"You and me and I'm pretty sure everyone else in the world," Alia says, shrugging as she seems to settle. She scrubs at her face for a moment, and then slaps at her thighs with her palms. "I'm fine," she says.

"You're really not."

"I'm really not, you're right," Alia says. "But, I really don't know what else I'm supposed to do other than try to suck it up and hope it goes away. And, right now, I have to go back downstairs and put on a brave face and convince everyone I'm not some kind of emotional wreck because I happened to fall in love with my best friend at the worst possible time in our lives."

Klaus regards her for a long time. "You know you're going to have to do something, right?"

"Like what?"

"Maybe you should sketch a picture of him killing a puppy," he offers. "That should turn the feelings right off."

Alia rolls her eyes as she slowly gets to her feet. "I'll definitely give it a try," she says. "Nothing else seems to be working." She moves to the sink and runs her hands under the cold water.

Klaus waits, patient and composed.

Alia dries her hands, and then turns to face him. "You can't tell him."

"I won't."

"He can never know."

Klaus sighs. "I said I won't tell him, Alia, but maybe you should."

Her eyes widen. "What good would that do? He's happy, and that's all I want. This - this will just make things worse."

"How could they be worse?"

"We would both be miserable about it," Alia says. "I won't do that to him. This way, it's just me."

Klaus meets her gaze. "Love, huh?"

"Makes me a fucking idiot."

"You've always been one."

Alia shrugs. "Then it's been aggravated." She starts for the door, needing to breathe different air, but Klaus grabs her wrist, stopping her.

"For what it's worth," Klaus says. "I am sorry."

"I thought you liked to see people in pain," Alia tries to joke, but it's flat and forced.

"Not this kind," Klaus says. "Never this kind."

* * *

Alia thinks, maybe, if her career as an artist fails, she should consider pursuing acting. Her cheeks hurt from her forced smile, and her head hurts from the noise and her heart hurts from, well, everything else.

She's very aware of Elijah's position in the corner of the living room, Katherine pressed against his side and Rebekah occupying his attention. She knows Rebekah's doing it on purpose, and Alia is suddenly very thankful for her.

Bonnie gets her started on her gifts, grabbing an old sketchbook from under the coffee table and preparing to make note of the gifts for Alia's 'thank you' cards.

There are vouchers and sketchbooks and art books and lots of chocolate. Matt gets her a Ohio State sweatshirt with an exaggerated wink, and Rebekah throws a _Skittle_ at him for trying to put ideas into her head. Bonnie, like every year, buys her a lab coat with the words 'Dr Alia' sewn onto the pocket.

She has eleven of them, all of different sizes. One, from every birthday since she declared she was going to become a doctor.

Klaus buys her a little toolkit for the painting - she's apparently building and she throws herself at him for a hug and ends up punching his arm a little too hard when he tickles her mercilessly.

Rebekah's gift is apparently really a gift from everyone, who pooled together enough money to buy her a digital art tablet. Alia kind of just stares at it for a long time, overwhelmed.

"It has all the drawing tools you need, I promise," Rebekah says. "I mean, this way, you'll always be able to do that artist thing without having to worry about having a paint brush or canvas on hand when you're hit by inspiration."

Alia takes a moment, and then grins. "You've been talking to Bonnie, haven't you?" she asks, her eyes lighting up. "You just got this for me because you're all sick of my getting paint _everywhere_."

"Yes," Matt drawls; "we're really just doing ourselves a favor."

Alia's smile softens. "Thank you," she says. "This is - this is amazing. Thank you." Then, because she's feeling a little more settled, she says, "Though, you do all know I'm becoming a doctor, right?"

There's a collective groan, because, really, none of her friends believe her.

Truth be told, she doesn't believe it herself most of the time, but hey.

When Alia gets to Elijah's gift, she pauses. There's no card. There's usually a card, heartfelt and descriptive. She has a collection of them and, for a moment, Alia thinks it's just misplaced.

It's not.

On the gift bag, the tiny note attached to the handle has handwriting that doesn't belong to Elijah. It says:

_To Alia, _

_Happy birthday!_

_From EK_

Alia reasons her life is filled with moments, and this one is a very important one. She must spend a little too much time staring at the note - because, God, that 'K' doesn't belong to Alia - because Rebekah taps her foot, and she manages to reboot.

The gift is a set of pencils. The pencils she always uses and, while she appreciates them, there's something that doesn't feel right about it, and it takes her far too long to realize it's because the gift isn't _Elijah's_.

Still, Alia smiles. "Thank you," she says, trying to look at them but unsure which one is worse. "I actually really needed these."

Elijah grins, looking triumphant before turning his gaze on Katherine. "You were right."

"Always am," She returns, accepting Elijah's kiss, and Alia drops her gaze. She sets the pencils aside, wondering if she'll actually use them, and then takes the next gift from Tyler when he hands it to her.

The rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur, and people start clearing out around six o'clock. Alia is exhausted as she remains on the couch, lying with her head in Klaus's lap and her legs over Kol's. She's comfortable, even a little drowsy, halfway to slumber as people trickle out of the house. She says goodbye as best she can, but this has been an emotionally draining day, and Klaus's hand in her hair is lulling her to sleep.

Then, suddenly, Elijah's face is right in front of her own, and she can't help flinching backwards.

"Sorry," Elijah says, wincing. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Alia just closes her eyes, trying to gather herself, before she faces Elijah again. "It's okay," she says. "Are you leaving?"

Elijah glances over his shoulder at where Katherine is standing and talking to Matt. The expression on his face is unreadable when he turns back to Alia. "I promised her a date tonight," he offers as explanation.

Alia takes a moment to process, but she eventually nods. "Oh, right, of course."

"I can come by later."

"No, that's okay," Alia says, because she doesn't think she can handle any more of this.

"But, it's your birthday," Elijah says, furrowing his brow. They have a tradition, where they spend the night at the other's house on birthdays, regardless of what day of the week it is.

Traditions, though, it would seem, have been shirked plenty of times in recent weeks.

"I know," Alia says, inching away from Elijah; "but it's date night."

This moment is another one of those moments, and Elijah makes a choice. Alia will wonder about it in the future; if she really did do something to push him away, because Elijah makes this choice.

He has found happiness, and it's supposed to be everything. Alia just wonders if Elijah misses her half as much as she does.

She thinks she gets her answer moments later when Elijah leaves, hand in Katherine's, and Alia doesn't see him until lunch on Monday. Doesn't hear from him, either.

Klaus just keeps his fingers threading through soft, chocolate hair. He drops his head and whispers, "You okay?"

Alia just hums, not an answer either way, but it's all she has to offer.

Klaus doesn't ask her again.

* * *

It's true, of course, because, when Alia finally allows herself to recall saying the words _I'm in love with Elijah_ to her sister, she didn't look all that surprised.

So, when the two of them do finally sit down to have the elusive talk, they actually don't talk about it at all.

Instead, Alia asks about her school and medicine and Bonnie devils into it with all the passion she has.

Dr Alia asks questions, and Dr Bonnie answers.

It takes a while for her to ask, "Are you okay?" in such a quiet voice that Alia feels her love for Bonnie grow.

She shifts some food across her plate with her fork, and then sighs. "No," she answers, which is the truth. "I'm really not. Not even a little bit."

Bonnie waits, patient.

She clears her throat. "I'm probably, definitely, bisexual, though...if you haven't heard," she says, and then holds her breath, anticipating some kind of reaction, and then frowning when she receives nothing. "But I've been kind of ignoring that part of my sexuality for the fact that I am in love with Elijah - " she stops, her voice catching. "I don't really know _what_ happened, but I'm trying to deal with it, and I seem to be failing."

Bonnie slumps in her seat, wishing there was something she could do to help.

Well.

"Do you want me to beat him up?" she suddenly asks, startling Alia. "Just say the word."

"Oh, my God," Alia says, shaking her head. "Bonnie, he would totally annihilate you."

"I could totally hold my own," she argues.

Alia pats Bonnie's forearm. "Sweetheart, I'd rather not have you end up in the ER, thank you," she says. "Imagine what the nurses would say."

Bonnie pouts. "I could do it."

"Sure, B," Alia relents, managing to smile at her. "But, you know, please don't go after him or anything. He's kind of my best friend, and I'm kind of in love with him."

Bonnie tilts her head. "'Kind of?'"

Alia clenches her jaw for a moment. "I don't really know what we are at the moment," she admits. "Things are very weird. He hid Katherine for so long, and I don't even know why. Now, we barely hang out and, if we do, Katherine's there, so now Rebekah comes along to be my buffer, or it's _everyone_, but I - " she stops, sighs. "I can't even remember the last time we did something just the two of us and, I mean, I get it. New relationships are exciting and amazing and he's happy and I'm happy for him, and it's my own fault I waited too long and missed my chance and _okay_, but isn't he still supposed to be my friend?"

She shakes her head. "I don't even want to think about what it would be like if this was happening and I _didn't_ love him. Like, imagine if we were just these best friends and then he started pulling away? Would I have cared as much? Would it hurt this much? Because, it does. And, I decided not to tell him because I don't want to lose him, but it's already happening, and I don't know if I've done something wrong. I mean, do you think he knows? Is that it? He's figured it out, and now he's just..." she trails off, sounding unsure.

Bonnie reaches to still the hand that's still playing with her food. "Do you think maybe you need to talk to him?" she asks, gentle and probing. "Not about this, especially, if you're not ready, but about the way you're feeling with regards to your friendship?"

"He'll take it so hard," Alia murmurs. "I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. He's happy with Katherine, and I've never wanted Elijah not to be happy."

"But, what about you?" Bonnie asks. "What about your happiness?"

Alia smiles, genuine. "I have you," she says. "What more do I need?"

Bonnie lifts her drink. "I think I have the smartest sister in the world."

"Sure, B," Alia placates, deep affection in her voice. She sighs. "Thank you, by the way," she adds a moment later. "For not being weird about this, or whatever."

"I love you, Alia," Bonnie says.

* * *

Elijah wouldn't really call himself a historian, but he does teach. Sometimes he'll show up to a college and lecture just to feel like he's doing something, anything.

It offers him peace of mind. There's something about time, he thinks, that keeps him quiet.

It's almost like what it feels like to be with Katerina, in some respects.

It's not well known that Elijah does this, but even still Alia has not missed a lecture since she found out.

Elijah thinks, maybe, he takes it for granted that Alia will show up.

They have this tradition, where Alia shows up in Elijah's jacket, the one she's kept since the first day they met.

After they always go for ice-cream. Alia picks their flavours based on the century Elijah teaches about, and there's a certain beauty to it.

This class is the first one where Elijah feels anxious for reasons not related to teaching. He can't put his finger on what it is exactly, but he can't seem to sit still, and his chest hurts.

Alia isn't here.

That's it.

Elijah's already texted her twice, but he's yet to receive a reply. He doesn't like this feeling. It settles heavy on his chest, and he wishes Alia would just reply.

Before long, the class begins, and his breathing is unsteady, but he's always been good at compartmentalisation. Time has taught him some things about disappointment.

His hand drops to leather bracelet, Alia had gotten him after he confessed he worried about losing his family. Each string of leather is a different shade of black, representing his siblings.

He gets home and folded neatly, on his bed, is the jacket.

_Lijah,_

_Thought you might want to give this to your actual girl._

_Alia. _

Elijah reads the note several times, trying to figure out exactly what he feels about it.

There's _something_.

It's gnawing at him.

All he knows is he doesn't like it.

* * *

"Matt, thank God," Alia exclaims when she reaches the counter. "I need coffee. Strong, strong coffee. Like, right now. Or even yesterday, if you could manage that."

Matt just laughs as he rings her up. "Rough day?"

"You have no idea," she says. "Can you make it an IV drip?"

"I'd probably end up in jail, so, no," he says, grinning. "But, I _can_ throw in a cinnamon roll to make you feel better?"

"I shouldn't, but, yes, please," she says. "Are you giving me a triple shot?"

"I'm not trying to kill you," he says, alarmed and eyes wide.

"It would be preferable at this point," she mutters under her breath, but he still hears her.

"Life can't be that bad."

She's about to tell him it's actually worse, when it actually _does_ get worse.

It's the sound of her name. In that voice. She freezes, hoping she's wrong, even though she knows she's not.

Matt perks up before Alia can even turn around. "Hey, Katherine," he says. "Your usual?"

"Please," the voice behind Alia says, and the brunette is forced to turn around. She's almost surprised that Katherine's alone, because she and Elijah are rarely without each other. "And, whatever Alia is getting is on me."

"Oh," Alia starts; "you really don't have to - "

"Nonsense," Katherine says, waving her off. "My treat. Are you staying? Would you mind some company?"

Alia is, predictably, a little overwhelmed by the bombardment of questions, which is really how she finds herself sitting across from her best friend's girlfriend with a double shot of espresso and a cinnamon roll in front of her.

Well.

Alia yawns twice before she remembers she has coffee in front of her. So, she drinks it. All of it. It's bitter, but it's beautiful, and she's going to need all the help she can get to get through the next hour of her life.

It's Thursday, so Alia already knows, but she still asks, "Where's Elijah?"

"Library."

Alia just nods, and then has a bite of her cinnamon roll. It's not as warm as it was before she drank her coffee, but it's giving her something on which to focus other than the girl opposite her. They've never done this before, and Alia thinks she could have gone her entire life without doing this.

"Alia," Katherine says, sounding serious. "You've known Elijah a while, right?"

Alia blinks. "Um, yes."

"So, you would know if he's... happier, right?"

"Happier?"

"Happy. I don't know. Do you think I make him happy?"

Yep.

Definitely could have gone her entire life without having this conversation.

Alia eats some more of her pastry, and then steels herself for the words she's going to have to force out of her mouth. "You do," she says, keeping her voice steady. "I've - I've seen Elijah in relationships before, but he's never looked at anyone else the way he looks at you. It's - it's like you ground him or something, and nobody else has ever been able to do that. He's happy. Believe me, you're definitely responsible for it."

Alia thinks the words would taste more like acid in her mouth if she honestly didn't believe them.

Katherine breathes out a sigh of relief. "You know, for a while there, I thought the two of you dated."

Alia chokes on the bite of food in her mouth, and it takes her a moment to recover. "Oh, my God," she says. "Elijah and me? What? No. We've never - it's not - _no_."

Katherine looks slightly amused. "I got that."

"He's my best friend," Alia says, and it's a truth that's both heartbreaking and liberating. "Probably the most important person in my life, besides my sister. I just want to see him happy, so please don't hurt him."

Her features soften. "He's lucky to have you, Alia."

Alia almost asks her to remind Elijah of that, but she holds her tongue. Instead, she says, "I think, maybe, we're the lucky ones," and Katherine is quick to agree.

* * *

Alia has never actually driven herself out to Willowy. She's just never gone there by herself, and Elijah is the one who likes to drive, anyway. It's about the freedom and the control, Alia thinks, but she's done analyzing Elijah at this point. She's just really exhausted, and all she wants is some cheesecake and a hot cup of _something_.

Hot chocolate, her brain decides, and caramel cheesecake this time. (Red velvet is a Elijah delicacy, and she's just so damn tired.)

"Oh, can I also just get a glass of water, please?"

The server, a girl probably a little older than Alia, makes a note of it, and then asks, "Is that all?"

Alia nods.

"Aren't you waiting for someone?"

Alia furrows her brow. "Uh, no."

"Oh," the girl says, looking surprised. "Sorry, it's just you're always in here with a man. It's odd not seeing the two of you together."

Alia almost laughs - or cries, who knows? - as she says, "Nope, just me today."

"His loss, I guess," the girl says, and then takes the menu and disappears before Alia can even _try_ to figure out what that even means.

Despite what it obviously doesn't mean, Alia still blushes. Is this a new thing? Now that she seems to have accepted she may actually be attracted to girls, is she going to become more aware of her interactions with them?

The answer to that question is yes, which Alia discovers rather quickly, when the server - Taylor - returns with her order. The slice of cheesecake is gigantic, and she receives a flirty wink that leaves her completely flustered.

She's halfway through her overly-sweet hot chocolate when she suddenly has to tell someone. Her go-to would be Elijah, but that's definitely not happening, and her brain slides over the thought before she can actively claim it.

Her first choice is Rebekah, now.

She feels a little liberated to be able to type the words out, her heart rate rising at the prospect.

**Alia**: _Okay. I'm definitely attracted to girls_.

The reply arrives four minutes later, and Alia can't help smiling to herself.

**Bekah**: _Err... Not sure how to respond to that but, uh, are congratulations in order_?

**Alia**: _I think so, yeah_.

**Bekah**: _Then, congratulations, my little bisexual princess_!

She has a moment where that truth makes her feel awful and relieved at the same time.

**Bekah**: _Watch out, girls of Mystic Falls! Alia Bennett is coming for you_!

**Alia**: _How are we friends_?

**Bekah**: _Why do I get the feeling this is a question you ask yourself often_?

**Alia**: _I love it when you prove you're a genius_.

**Bekah**: _Damn straight._

**Bekah**: _Which you are not…_

Alia just shakes her head, absently making a mental note to do something nice for her friend someday soon. She feels significantly lighter in this moment, as if some kind of weight has been lifted.

There's life and love and happiness beyond all these feelings.

She's in such a good mood because of it that she leaves Taylor an overly-large tip and receives a blown kiss for her troubles.

She's flustered the entire drive home.

* * *

"Does it make me a terrible sister to say I don't like Elijah's relationship with Katerina?"

Alia freezes at the sound.

"Do you just not like her."

"I don't think it's her. I just can't seem to recognize Elijah while she's with him."

* * *

Klaus is almost surprised it takes as long as it does, but, when Alia comes up to him and very seriously says, "I need to get drunk," Klaus can't help but be proud of her for lasting as long as she has.

Alia sucks in a sharp breath. "Today. Tonight. Right fucking now."

Klaus catches her shoulder, steadying her, and his eyes slide past her shoulder to see Elijah and Katherine, making out for everyone to see. It's happened a few times before, even before Katherine, but this is the first time it's affected Alia this viscerally - she won't admit it's really because of the jacket- the fucking jacket Elijah gave to her the first day he met her, draped over Katherine's shoulders.

"Klaus," Alia says, and her voice is strangled. "Please. I - I need to get out of here."

"Okay," he says. "Okay, yeah, let's go. This place is pathetic anyway."

On their way, they encounter Bonnie, who takes one look at them, and then follows without prompting.

"Are we getting drunk?" she asks.

"Fuck, yes," Klaus says.

"Good, because I'm totally nauseated right now," Bonnie says. "Did you know Tyler has a sandwich in his locker he's kept in there since we were freshmen?"

"Gross," Alia says.

"Boys," Klaus scoffs. His head ducks slightly to catch sight of Alia's eyes. They've been dark, a little haunted in the past weeks, but today seems to be one of the worse days. "Men as well, huh?"

Alia's lips twitch. "Do you know a little something about that?"

Klaus rolls his eyes. "I know _e__verything_, Bennett," she says. "Do try to keep up."

* * *

Once upon a time, Alia was loud and talkative when drunk, but not today.

She drinks recklessly and without chasers, just to get to a point where she can forget.

And then she cries.

It's the silent kind, but she looks as if she needs it. She curls into a ball on Klaus's bed, and she's asleep before she can even begin to wax poetic about her heartache.

Klaus looks at Bonnie over the top of her head and sighs. "So."

Bonnie sips some vodka. "So."

"Nauseated, huh?"

Bonnie groans. "They have no boundaries," she says. "You would think I'd be used to it by now."

"Oh?"

"Elijah's affectionate when he's not thinking, and his brain has been misfiring a lot lately," she says, glancing at Alia. "God, it's like love has made her stupid or something."

"Isn't that what usually happens?"

Bonnie shrugs. "I wouldn't know; I've never been in love."

"It's overrated, anyway," Klaus says. "It either makes you stupid or just makes you hurt. I'd rather have neither."

Bonnie holds up her drink. "I'll drink to that."

Klaus clinks his glass against hers and then takes a large gulp, downing it. "I miss regular sex with the same person, though."

"I'll drink to that," Bonnie says again, and then does.

Silence settles over them as they sit this strange kind of vigil over Alia. Unrequited love is one thing. That person being your best friend is something else entirely. And, Alia is Alia. She's not usually one for keeping things locked inside, and it seems to be eating away at her in the worst of ways.

"What are we going to do?" Klaus suddenly asks, clearly referring to this Elijah and Alia situation. "I'm not even the one in love and this is hurting me."

Bonnie sighs. "I think it would suck less if Alia didn't already have her insecurities with Elena and not being good enough. The fact she has the same face as his first love doesn't help either."

Bonnie stares at him.

Klaus eventually looks at her. "I don't know how to help your sister," she says. "I don't even know how to help my brother."

Bonnie frowns. "Why do you say Elijah needs help?"

"Elijah's obviously blinded by something, or just very determined, if he can look at this one and not see how much she hurts."

Bonnie sighs. "I suck at all this emotional shit."

"It's not for me, either."

They just stare at each other for a long moment, before Klaus breaks the silence. "Want to make out?" he asks, only half-joking.

Bonnie eyes him curiously for a long moment, and then she shrugs. She downs her drink, sets the glass on the nightstand, and then tugs on Klaus's collar.

Someone deserves to have some fun.

* * *

"What time are you heading to the exhibition?" Rebekah asks, dropping her tray onto the table with more force than is completely necessary. It's been a _day_.

"The Art exhibition?"

Rebekah gives her brother a withering look. "What else would I be talking about?"

Elijah blinks. "I don't know," he says, and then sighs. "Why are you asking?"

"Just want to make sure there's someone to talk to when I arrive," she says. "Nik's on 'Make-Sure-Alia-Doesn't-Lose-It' duty, and I'm not getting anywhere near that." She practically shudders, because she really didn't expect Alia to be so _extra_. The girl has been five seconds away from a nervous breakdown since the start of the year, but it feels as if she's hanging off the edge now that her semester project is about to be put on display.

"You're going?" Elijah asks.

Alia reaches for her fork. "I am, yes."

"Why?"

"Alia invited me," she says, piercing a piece of… she doesn't really know what it is, but it's supposed to resemble food.

"She did?"

"Yep."

"And you're actually going?"

Rebekah gives him a look. "Don't sound so surprised," he says. "I do things."

"You don't like art exhibits."

"I like them just fine, thank you very much," she says, surprised by how much she actually bristles at the offhand accusation. She has to force herself from saying _between the two of us, I probably like her more than you do, at this point_. That would be cruel, she knows, because it would probably be true. Whatever is going on with Elijah; it's been toxic to what was once his most important relationship. "Plus Nik will be there."

"Him and Alia are… close."

"One could say that, yes."

"What does that mean?" Elijah asks. And, if he sounds too defensive, he can't help it.

"It means they're friends, Elijah," Rebekah says, frowning. "They've always been friends. You know that. And since you've been busy they have gotten closer."

Elijah doesn't need the reminder. "It just seems they've been… closer lately," he points out, still unsure why that makes him so uncomfortable.

"Why do you think that is?" Rebekah presses, wondering if she's missed something.

The first reason that flashes through Elijah's mind is something he ends up dismissing as an impossibility, because he would know. Alia would have told him _that_, surely. "I don't know."

Rebekah shakes her head. "They've always been close," she says. "You're only just now noticing because Alia is no longer attached to _your_ hip."

The way it sounds, so casual and true, makes Elijah's heart twist painfully.

Alia hasn't even mentioned her art to him. Her inspirations.

Elijah lays a hand over his written notes and tries to settle the sudden discomfort in his gut. This time, last year, he would have known everything there is to know about Alia's work. Her art has always been one of Elijah's favourite things about her.

Among other things, of course.

Rebekah clears her throat. "So, six o'clock, you said?"

Elijah nods. "It starts around then."

"Meet you there, then?"

Distracted, Elijah agrees with a murmured, "Sure," and then refocuses on his work. He can dissect his relationships later.

* * *

He drives out to willowy.

Elijah enters without even looking up and turns to his left, heading to what him and Alia once claimed as their own booth. It offers them a pretty neat view of the Lake just beyond the windows, and he sighs at the sight, casually sliding into his seat and trying his best not to wonder why his heart suddenly feels so heavy.

He has just enough time to push those confusing feelings aside when a server appears at his side, gently placing a menu on the table in front of him and introducing herself.

Elijah looks up to offer a small smile in greeting, and the server's eyes widen in recognition.

"I know you," she says, standing at Elijah's table with her notepad in hand. "I wondered if we'd ever see you again."

"It's been a while, yes."

"You're usually here with Alia," she says, and Elijah's eyebrows shoot up.

"You know Alia?"

"She's been by a few times," she says. "It's always odd seeing her by herself, though."

Elijah isn't sure what to make of that information. His heart hurts for a reason he can't make sense of. Is it because Alia has come here without him? Or is it because Alia is alone?

Neither.

Both.

"Anyway," the girl - her name tag reads Taylor - says. "What can I get for you?"

Elijah blinks. "Just my regular coffee."

"Sure thing," she says. "Anything to eat?"

"I'm good, thank you."

"I'll be right back."

Elijah sits perfectly still when she's gone, trying to wrap his head around the whirlwind of emotions going on inside of him.

Alia has always been confusing.

Even more so now.

Elijah takes out his phone and sends a text, wishing good luck and hoping all is going well.

For proprietary, he sends a second one to a different number, and then very carefully tries not to think too hard about anything.

It's unsurprising that he fails.

* * *

Alia feels her phone vibrate in her pocket, and she checks it immediately, thinking it's Klaus with an update on his arrival with her centrepiece.

Instead, it's Elijah.

Alia has just enough time to read the text before she hears another phone go off. Her eyes lift to see Katherine, just across the room, reach for her own phone. The smile on her face tells Alia all she needs to know, and the dark part of Alia wonders if Elijah sent them in bulk.

Alia ignores the text in favour of finalising her other pieces. A lot of them are covered in white sheets, keeping them hidden from view until it's time for the showcase to begin.

It's some of her darkest work, really.

Matches her insides, maybe.

A lot of red and green.

Blood and Elijah.

She shakes her head to clear it, and then moves away to get some fresh air and wait for Klaus. He helped her build the cabinet that's supposed to go above the broken sink she found at an old building sight.

People are supposed to be able to step up to the sink, which has vines painted sneaking up it's stand, look into the mirror and see what Alia sees when she looks in her own mirror. Part of the project involves a self portrait, and Alia's portrait has her green eyes, lips and tears of blood.

It's not pretty.

But, within, behind the cabinet doors, is the worst of it.

The outside might not be pretty, but the inside is downright ugly.

Klaus still called it all beautiful in the way it tells a story. The artistry is miles above, he said, and Alia wonders what she would have produced if her guts didn't feel as if they were so twisted up inside.

Puppies, maybe.

Who knows?

* * *

One of Alia's painting is the meadow.

God, the meadow, which is a bit of a sore spot for them at the moment, but the painting is stunning. Elijah could probably lose himself in it, if his eyes didn't drift to the left.

Because, the second, is -

Elijah's breath catches.

Alia's eyes. Those are Alia's eyes. So, so green, chestnut and gold.

Crying.

Tears of blood.

Bleeding.

On the outside.

Inside.

"Alia," his mouth says, but no sound actually comes out. Still, Alia turns her head as if she can just feel his presence, and the look on the brunette's face is difficult to read.

Elijah doesn't miss the way Alia's eyes dart down to where Katerina is holding his hand, and he has the alarming urge to let it go. But, then, Alia is looking away again, and Elijah wonders if he can actually go up and talk to her.

Some man takes the decision away from him by stepping up to Alia and starting up a conversation with her.

Elijah's attention drifts back to the cabinet, where Klaus is just now opening it to reveal what's inside, and Elijah pales at the sight, actually gasping. It's messy and dark and almost grotesque.

But, God, it's beautiful.

It's still Alia in so many ways, and Elijah has the inexplicable desire to go up to her and just pull her into a hug and never let go.

Why?

Why has Alia painted this? Why does she see herself this way? What's happened? Why doesn't Elijah know? Would Alia even tell him?

Because what he sees now shows something ruined, broken, pained.

Does Alia feel like this...is she in pain?

Why doesn't he know this?

Bonnie looks particularly tense, even worried, and Elijah can't help but wonder if anyone knows what's happening to Alia's insides.

There's a moment, when Elijah looks over, that Alia is standing alone, and he starts towards her, ready to talk to her, but then Klaus appears out of nowhere and throws an arm over Alia's shoulders.

Elijah freezes mid-step, his stomach bottoming out in a way that's so foreign.

Not foreign, actually.

Just, not recent.

He goes to Bonnie.

"Is Alia alright?"

She laughs, her eyes cold. "Why do you care?"

He watches Klaus's face get too close to Alia's. If he kisses her again, Elijah will be forced to kill him.

"Her paintings...they are rather dark."

Bonnie droops, her eyes filling with tears. "Honestly, they are past dark. I don't even understand art and I can see...how-" her voice cuts out.

"Is something wrong with her?"

"Why don't you ask her?" Bonnie shoots back. "When was the last time you've even talked to her? You two used to go stargazing as one of your stupid rituals every friday...now she drags Kol or Klaus with her."

His chest aches.

He overhears Klaus say something to make the girl laugh, soft and unburdened and achingly sweet. When was the last time he heard Alia's laugh? When was the last time he made her laugh?

"Just go back to your girlfriend, Elijah, stop pretending that you care about Alia when you clearly don't."

"I do. I love-" he stops himself, he can't say those words. He can't let himself be consumed by her again only to go nowhere.

Bonnie laughs.

"No you don't. You probably never did."

A slap would have hurt less.

* * *

Despite the perilous position Alia finds herself in with regards to Elijah, she still makes sure to send him the painting of the meadow as his Christmas present. Elijah seemed to like it from what she remembers of the exhibition, and there's a part of Alia that really doesn't want to keep it.

It's tainted in some way, and just getting rid of it isn't something Alia could ever consider doing. She puts part of herself into every piece she creates, and this painting is no different. It'll be safe with Elijah.

Two birds, one stone, and all that.

She just doesn't quite foresee the repercussions of such an act.

* * *

At midnight on new years eve, she kisses a girl for the first time.

And yep, that really only confirms it.

Once she gets over Elijah she's definitely going for a girl.

* * *

"You gave him your painting?" Bonnie questions with wide eyes. "That's like the artists version of making a mixtape."

Klaus playfully slaps Bonnie's ass, which she giggles at, and mutters. "I have to agree."

Alia groans loud enough to draw attention to her. "Would you two shut up about the painting already...damn."

"Fine what did you get for Christmas, Klaus?" Bonnie asks snarky.

"Not an Alia Bennett painting."

"I hate you."

* * *

"Do you love him?"

Alia can't breathe.

Maybe the painting really was obvious.

"Of course I do, we've been best friends since-"

"Alia," Katherine says firmly. "You know what I mean."

Maybe, but she has denied it for so long that it might be second nature at this point.

"I might have suspected it earlier, but you've never - you've never done or really said anything that put it on display," Katherine says. "Not until the painting."

Alia groans, suddenly just so _done_. "Seriously, will everyone just cool it with the fucking painting?" she almost snaps. "If I knew it would cause such a conniption, I probably still would have done it, because it means nothing, okay? It's just a painting. Elijah liked it, so I gave it to him. I've given him ones before. They're all over his room."

Katherine's brow furrows. "Elijah doesn't have any paintings in his room."

And, yeah, okay, so Alia actually, maybe, dies a little bit inside. The air seems to leave her lungs in one fell swoop, and her heart slows to what feels like a thudding stop.

Alia clears her throat, trying to calm herself. "Well, there you go," she says, her tone flat. "Nothing to worry about." She can't bring herself to meet Katherine's gaze, and that's telling enough.

The girl softens immediately, her left hand moving to rest on Alia's forearm. "Oh, Alia."

The touch startles the young Bennett witch, and she jerks away, getting to her feet in an attempt to ward off the overwhelming feeling threatening to consume her. "No," she says, shaking her head. "Please don't do this, okay? I promise I'm not going to try anything, okay? He'll never even know. Life is just going to go on and, for fuck's sake, stop looking at me like that."

That's the worst part, Alia thinks. The pity.

* * *

Elijah comes to visit her one night.

They talk all night and she can almost remember what it felt like to have him in her life.

It takes her until Katherine calls for him to realize she was just a distraction until what he really wanted was available.

It makes her feel dirty.

Used.

* * *

She goes to willowy.

"I think I'll actually disown him if he were to come here with anyone else," Alia says almost offhandedly, and then freezes when Taylor very suddenly looks away. It's the single action that's needed, and she won't even ask for a verbal confirmation. "Oh."

"I'm sorry," Taylor says, and she sounds as if she truly means it. "I mean, it was just one time, and he made sure they got a takeaway. If that helps at all."

Alia fiddles with her paper napkin. "It's just… what it is, I guess." She audibly swallows. "Life sucks."

"It does," Taylor agrees, quiet and morose.

Alia clears her throat. "I shouldn't be surprised," she says. "I can't blame him. I would want to bring my... special someone here, as well. It's... special."

"It is," Taylor confirms, smiling sadly.

Alia goes quiet, her gaze drifting to look out the window. She feels numb; as if this is all happening to someone else.

Now, she's just nobody.

That's probably not true, but it's how she feels.

* * *

Alia presses her lips together, and speaks again only when they've reached the bar. "I had an epiphany on the weekend."

"About what?"

"Elijah."

"Oh?"

Alia looks away for a moment. "It's over," she says. "It's so over, I don't even think there's anything left to salvage."

Klaus just stares at her.

"It's like we broke up without ever having dated, and I've been forced to deal with watching him fall in love with someone else." She swallows audibly. "So, I made a decision."

"And, what decision is that?"

"It's over," Alia says again. "I just want to make it clear for all of us, so we can all stop pretending. And, then, maybe I'll go on an actual date with an actual girl who is maybe _actually_ interested in me."

"Alia," he murmurs, shaking his head.

"It's what's best," she says. "I - I already lost him, Klaus. At least, this way, we'll both be on the same page about it, and I won't have to deal with that guilty look on his face whenever he forces himself to hang out only with me when we both know he'd rather be anywhere and everywhere else."

"Alia?"

"He took her to Willowy, Klaus," she says, as if it's supposed to explain everything. And, really, it _does_, because Klaus's eyes actually widen, nobody goes to Willowy. That's Elijah and Alia's. Always. Only.

Until now, apparently.

"It's been our place for years," Alia says. "Sacred in all the ways. It's 'our' place, and Elijah, he - he's inserted Katherine into every place I used to exist, and I - I can't, okay? I _can't_. Elijah hasn't figured out a way to have the two of us co-exist in his life, and I get the impression he's never actually wanted to. So, I'm just doing us both a favor. It's over. I'm putting myself out of my misery and just acknowledging it."

Klaus doesn't know what to say, which is a surprise for him, because he usually does. This is just -

Him and Bonnie aren't cut out for this. Even Rebekah and Matt seem out of their depths.

Somebody.

Anybody.

Klaus has half a mind to talk to Elijah about this. He's been thinking about it for a while, in an attempt to get to the bottom of whatever's been going through Elijah's mind.

His brother is notoriously difficult to read on a normal day, but the past few months have been clouded by something Klaus doesn't recognize.

Maybe Alia is on to something here.

Maybe Elijah needs some kind of wake-up call.

Maybe this is all going to go down in flames.

Klaus is about to let it.

Hoping desperately that they'll be able to pick up the pieces once everything's shattered.

* * *

It takes Alia another three days to work up the courage to do what she's been trying to do. There are things she's wanted to tell Elijah for so long, but she doesn't think the words are actually going to come.

Still, she's going to try.

It's time.

It's been time for a while.

So.

"We need to talk."

Elijah startles at the voice, as unexpected as it is, and his eyes widen at the sight of Alia standing beside him, her eyes looking more serious than Elijah's ever seen them.

All of a sudden, Elijah knows he doesn't want to have this conversation, whatever it entails. "I'm busy-"

Alia's jaw clenches. "Please stop lying to me," she says. "Please, for just one moment, will you just stop?" She shakes her head. "I know your schedule. I checked with Klaus, okay? We need to talk, and we're going to do it right now."

Elijah sits perfectly still.

Alia holds out her hand, impatient. "Give me your phone."

"What?"

"I'm sick and tired of having it interrupt this conversation," she says. "Give it to me."

Elijah does so without a word.

Then she sits across from him, places her hands on the table and says, "I feel dirty," with all the seriousness in the world.

Elijah just stares at her, definitely not expecting to hear that.

"You make me feel dirty," she says, and the words taste like acid in her mouth. They taste like _truth_. "I never really thought about it that way, but I woke up this morning and all I wanted to do is scrub myself clean."

Elijah feels as though his heart had been ripped open and stomped on with those words.

"What am I to you?" Alia asks. "What have I been?"

He just stares at her.

"Was I just some pathetic substitute you kept around until the real thing came around?" she asks, which, okay, is more of a surprise to herself than it probably is to Elijah. Where did that even come from? "I tried to understand, Elijah. I really, really did. You were in a new relationship, and those can be demanding, but I thought you would figure it out. You were supposed to be able to balance everything, right? I'm supposed to be your best friend, but I'm not. You're not. We're nothing. You - you took every part of our relationship and replaced me, and how - how - why - " she stops, needing to compose herself.

"I know I used to complain endlessly about tradition and routine, but it was our thing. Ours." She clenches her jaw. "But, you've given away so many of those, haven't you, _Lijah_?"

His eyes widen ever so slightly.

"I forgave that, and the book exchange and the fact you lied about your new relationship in the first place and I forgave the meadow, barely, and I've been able to accept that you're going to be busy more often than not. I forgave my birthday and I've managed to look past so, so many things, but I can't - I can't look past Willowy." She drops her gaze, her fists clenched.

Elijah feels the bottom of his stomach drop out, wondering how Alia even knows about that. It'd been a bit of an accident. Elijah wanted to go alone, and Katerina kept asking where he went off to on his own all the time. There was insecurity in the way she asked her questions, and Elijah had no choice, really.

Still, he knows he can't say any of that, because it sounds like a ridiculous excuse, now that he thinks about it.

"You promised me," Alia says. "You promised it would be our place, and I - I hate that you've done this to us. I hate that it's almost what you intended, and I hate that I've now got all this hate in me. And you did this. You did this. Why? What happened? Did I do something? Did you want me to hate myself?"

_Did you want me to hate myself?_

He has never been so hurt by words. Not from his siblings. His parents. Not from anyone.

"You know what? I don't even care if I did do something," she continues, shaking her head. "Because, if I did, you should have talked to me about it first. We - we should have had this conversation a hell of a long time ago." Her jaw clenches, and she's forcing the anger down, suppressing it.

The hurt, too.

All of it.

She clears her throat. "I don't want any part of this anymore. I'm so tired. Exhausted. I can't just keep things inside anymore, and now I'm... putting an end to it, I guess."

Elijah just continues to stare at her.

Alia releases a shaky breath. "Say something."

It takes a few long moments, but Elijah eventually says, "I - I never meant for it to be like this."

"Is that really all you have to say?"

"I don't know what else you want to hear."

And, frankly, Alia doesn't either. All she knew coming into this was that she needed Elijah to know how she's been feeling, and now…

Now, it's just… _urgh_.

It's supposed to make her feel better. It's supposed to give her some kind of release, lift a burden of some kind.

She feels none of those things.

It's almost worse, really.

This is final and permanent and ugly, and Alia hates him.

She hates him, and she loves him, and those kinds of emotions are never supposed to co-exist. Especially not in someone like Alia, who feels everything so acutely.

She audibly swallows. "You could have saved me a lot of trouble, you know?" Her voice comes out _sounding_ like acid. She shakes her head. "Making me feel important, doing all these wonderful, amazing things. You could have just _not_, if it wasn't ever your intention to - " she stops, almost growling. "Why would you do all of that? Why would you make it so easy to fall - " she stops again. "Fuck, Elijah. What did you do?"

Nothing.

Elijah has nothing.

Alia shakes her head, absolutely refusing to cry in front of him. "When you figure it out, keep it to yourself."

And, then, she gets to her feet and starts to leave. She pauses, remembering, and then digs Elijah's phone out of her bag. She sets it on the table, her fingers trembling.

"It's been ringing, by the way," she says. "It's probably Klaus, right? He probably needs you for something, for sure." It's petty, she knows, but she's hurt and angry and sad and confused and so painfully in love that she doesn't even know what to do with herself.

So, she walks away.

Happiness be damned.

She has a broken heart to protect, and she's finally being smart about it.

* * *

Elijah doesn't go anywhere.

He doesn't answer his phone. Doesn't move for hours, his mind is a mess and he's hurting in ways he didn't know was truly possible.

He has to admit some sick part of him wanted this. Because he met a girl.

He met a girl and fell in love...and he could never be good enough for her.

So he made a decision to move one and burn this relationship with the girl who holds his everything to the ground.

Except he could never move on.

He reaches for his phone. "I did something," he says as soon as they answer. "Niklaus, I did something and I don't think I'll be able to fix it."

* * *

Klaus expected something, but the silence is alarming.

Actually it's downright terrifying.

"Alia was the first women to tell me she loved me and to have every part of me believe it," Elijah says suddenly. "It was years ago now, and she offered the words up so easily."

He takes in a breath.

"I've always admired her, her power, her friendship," Elijah chuckles. "She was the only friend I ever had and now she's not. I've had so many people die around me, I didn't want her to ever be one. I always assumed our attachment would end at death and death only." He looks upwards. "I want to say I don't know what happened, but I do."

Klaus frowns, not quite following.

"In the end I chose Katerina," Elijah says sounding lost. "The woman who's only with me now because it works to her advantage...over Alia."

Klaus doesn't know what to do.

"There is something I have to do," Elijah says suddenly.

"No, not Alia," Klaus growls without meaning to. "She can't- she's been suffering."

Elijah looks surprised, and jealous, and guilty, and broken.

"Not Alia." He stands. "She wants nothing to do with me, remember?"

"Then who?"

Elijah is already gone.

* * *

Katherine leaves town, Klaus finds out from one of his hybrids.

Apparently that's what he needed to do.

* * *

Elijah finds out from Caroline a week later.

The girl just casually mentions that Alia went on a date with a girl named Santana.

"Didn't you know?"

Elijah licks his lips. "No, actually, I didn't," he says.

"Oh." Caroline drops her gaze for a beat, the air turning uncomfortable all around them. "Well, she did, with this girl from our World Geography class, and Alia said she was a bit of a disaster about it." She giggles. "Apparently, dating girls is a lot harder than she thought."

Elijah can't breathe.

His brain just won't compute.

Niklaus rolls his eyes. "Alia's just too extra," he says. "She was a nervous wreck the entire time."

Elijah looks at her, almost feeling betrayed. "You knew?" he asks, the accusation clear to hear in his tone.

Klaus narrows his eyes. "Knew what?"

"That Alia - that she - " he stops, unable to make sense of this.

"Is bisexual?"

Alia went on a date.

With a girl.

A girl.

Alia is dating girls.

Since when?

What is happening?

Klaus pierces him with a sharp look. "Yes," he answers. "I've known for a while, to be honest. Didn't you? I was sure you would be one of the first people she would tell when she figured it out."

And, okay, Elijah feels like the world has lost its colour, or something equally ridiculous and dramatic like that. This isn't happening. This can _not_ be happening. Sexuality is a big thing, why didn't his best friend feel comfortable enough to tell him this.

"She - she - " Elijah attempts, and then visibly deflates. "I think she tried to. A long time ago."

"But?"

"But," he repeats, solemn. "But I didn't let her." He sits back, abandoning everything around him.

Caroline looks nonplussed, and Klaus is as unsympathetic as ever, even if there's a level of understanding behind his eyes.

Now he supposes he has to keep her away from men and women- that's not true...he doesn't have to keep her away from anyone because she isn't his.

They aren't attached anymore.

He wishes his possessiveness and scarred heart felt the same way.

* * *

"I figured out I loved her rather quickly," Elijah says quietly. "I was powerless to her, she could ask me for the world and I would've given it to her."

Klaus watches his brother break.

"But she never asked," he says so like he doesn't want the universe to hear. "She never asked." The hybrid had never seen his brother look so ruined. "I waited and waited and waited, and I endured it as she was with Mason, and it hurt in ways I can't describe, Niklaus. So, I decided to be smart, and then Katerina asked and she never did, that was supposed to be my saving grace."

_Did you want me to hate myself?_

"Katerina was never truly mine...never would have been, but Alia- I lost her. I had her and I lost her."

"You got rid of her, Elijah, her art-"

"I would never," the original stood, his eyes dark, bestial and filled with water. "I would never get rid of her art. I love her art. I love her."

He steps back. "Does she think I got rid of her art? Does she think I would do that to her-" he stops, thinking of that grotesque painting, with bloody tears and thinks that he did that. He fucking did that to her. So maybe, she thinks he's capable of doing anything to her.

"I took over one of guest rooms, made a museum dedicated to her, to every piece of her."

"You threw every other part of your relationship with her away, Elijah. What else was she supposed to think?"

* * *

"Klaus, I don't want to be here."

"There is something you need to see."

And Klaus just leaves her.

Each sketch is framed, canvases carefully placed, all of them creating a wonderful collage. They go in a certain timeline, and it's obvious to see the way her technique has improved.

Her heart migrates into her throat as she moves to inspect the first drawing she ever gave Elijah, finding a small caption under the A4 sheet with the date and the words: _She told me we were going to be Best friends. I didn't know what that was in the moment, but I pretended I did. She's going to be famous one day, and I knew it even then_.

Alia's eyes trail over the collection, reading several little captions.

_\- This is one of my favourites, from the first time we went camping in her backyard. She drew this owl in a tree, just to prove to me the dark didn't scare her._

_\- I'll admit the dead tree scared me the first time I saw it, but I never told her. It's managed to grow on me since, which is a feat in itself, because I hate the thought of anything dying being beautiful._

_\- I cried when she gave me this one. It's the first drawing she did of me after she saw my scars. I love her, she put so much of herself in this and I love her. _

_\- I come back to this one a lot. The idea of family has been twisted for me. And yet she drew my family all together, and we looked like a true family. The only thing missing was her standing right next to me. _

_\- She told me 'they don't know about us,' and then handed me this quick sketch of the two of us, driving on a road to nowhere, top down and hair sweeping from the wind. 'They're just jealous of us,' she said, and this picture makes me believe her._

_\- Sometimes, it seems as if she knows how difficult it is for me to return her sentiment when she says 'I love you.' She gives me this look, like she doesn't quite believe me, and I wonder if maybe I don't know how to love. _

_\- She probably won't remember ever giving me this one. She drew it on a random napkin at a party Niklaus threw. It's nothing, really, but she captioned it 'I love you, E,' and it's the drawing that changed everything. _

_\- Every new one is a contender for my favourite, but this meadow is right at the top of the list. I took her there, once. We laid in the sun, and I had all these plans to thank her for being so understanding; to tell her all these other truths about me. I had news, and so did she, and I made the mistake of letting her go first. I learned a harsh lesson that day. Plans are just that: plans. They very rarely work out. What this painting has reminded me is that plans will always be just that. Timing is everything_.

The captions are so intimate she feels as though she is invading Elijah's privacy.

And then the door opens and it's him and she feels so very wrong, especially if the guarded look on his face is anything to go by.

"Hi."

"Hello, Alia."

She breathes in through her nose. "There are things I don't understand."

Elijah stares at her, no, more like bores into her. "You're not alone in that."

"I never asked you," he starts again. "Why did you break up with Mason?"

Alia immediately looks away. That's... unexpected.

"Tell me the truth," Elijah says. "Why?"

She takes one deep breath and holds it. It's impossible to suffocate yourself this way, but she's willing to try.

"Alia," Elijah says. "Why?"

"You know why."

Elijah shifts in place. "No, I don't."

Alia lets out a dark laugh. "Oh, come on, _Lijah_, don't you think we've lied to each other enough?"

He flinches at the name. "Tell me why."

"I broke up with him because I fell in love with you," she confesses quietly, and the spoken words seem to catch them both by surprise. Frankly, Alia wasn't sure she would ever actually admit it to his face, but here they are. "Or, better yet, I always was, and then I figured it out and I was going to do something about it, but then you were dating Katherine and shutting me out and, you know what, you don't even deserve an explanation right now. What do you even want?"

"Alia-"

"Don't. I know you don't feel the same that's okay. I know I'm not beautiful like Katherine, I know you were always just my friend. Okay. I don't want your pity."

His expression shatters, and the most amount of emotion she has ever seen crowds his face. "Alia you are the most beautiful person, in all my centuries of living, that I have ever seen. Don't ever in my presence, imply otherwise."

"Don't imply you didn't know I loved you, really loved you, either."

"I didn't."

"There you go again," Alia accuses; "lying."

"I didn't," Elijah repeats. "Do you really think if I did, that any of this would have happened?"

"Any of what?"

"This," he exclaims, exasperated. And, he is. Exasperated. Everything is such a mess.

This was never what he was expecting.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Alia, I have been in love with you, in all of the dangerous ways since I have first met you."

Her heart beats fast and everything feels great, amazing until she remembers everything else.

"How am I supposed to believe that."

And Elijah doesn't have an answer for her.

* * *

Elijah may not have had an answer doesn't mean he's giving up.

He waits two weeks. Gives her all the space in the world. Avoids places she loves.

Lets her breathe, until being away from her feels like torture.

"That night," Elijah begins when he gets her alone. "I came back to your life and I talked to you, like we were still close. I bulldozed my way into your comfort and when Katherine called I left."

Alia flinches and he hates that he did that to her.

"I'm so very selfish, Alia. I couldn't face how I failed at staying away-"

"Elijah-"

"I'm sorry," Elijah whispers. "I - I tried so hard, and I - you told me I made you feel dirty, and I've - I'm - "

And he kisses her.

They still have so much to talk about. To do.

He pulled back, not too far, and he something curled inside him, hot and low. It wasn't a thunderbolt, it was more like. . . coming home from the beach. A day where you spent so long in the sun that you were glowing from the inside out. Not a burning spark but something warm and indescribable.

Neither of them are healed yet, but it's something. It's something.

Turn out it's really nothing at all.

He opens his eyes, disoriented, his mouth threatens to smile but the sight of Alia's eyes stop him.

"Alia-"

"Don't," Alia clips. "Don't you dare say anything."

Elijah's mouth slams shut.

"Don't touch me," she growls ripping herself away from his touch. "You don't get to do that. Don't you know how hard this is for me? Fuck. Is this fun for you? Are you enjoying torturing me?"

And Elijah's mouth just falls open.

"Because its working," Alia says and she just sounds so broken and defeated. "You told me you loved me before. Has that changed."

"No," Elijah says immediately.

She nods once.

"Then please, Elijah, leave me the fuck alone."

Tears run down his face, but miraculously none fall from Alia's eyes.

"Just let me be," she goes on. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you." She shakes her head. "I'm too in love with you to deny you anything. So please don't ask me for anything ever again." Her gaze meets his. "Stop being selfish."

"Alia," Elijah rushes, needing to say…something. "I - " and that's about all he gets out because the mask is now fully in place and Alia Bennett, his lovely adoring best friend who waits up for him every night without fail, is gone.

Alia just shakes her head, freezing time, as she rises to her feet.

Elijah knows he has to say something.

He has to.

He has to reach out and stop her.

He has to do something before this is irreparable.

There's no coming back from this if Elijah doesn't do something now.

But he can't bring himself to move, and all he does is watch Alia leaves the room. There's no elegance in her usually-graceful footsteps. It's as if she's trying not to rush, when all she wants is to flee.

Soon enough, Alia is out of sight, and Elijah is left staring at nothing, just knowing he's not only broken Alia's heart, but his own as well.

* * *

Elijah feels it when he wakes the next morning. He suffered through a painful, restless sleep, his nightmares fuelled by that pained look in Alia's eyes. He's seen Alia go through many, many things, but that look is something new, and Elijah hates himself for putting it there.

But he also hates Alia a little bit, too.

So, Elijah wakes the next morning and feels it so acutely that he can barely breathe. When he lumbers out of bed, irritable and aching, he goes straight to Alia's home. It's part of their morning routine. Whoever wakes first goes to make sure the other is up. It's just one of many things they do for each other on a daily basis. (Or used to do.)

Elijah comes to a stop in front of Alia's front door and- he can't just go in there. Not after what happened the previous night, and definitely not dressed like -

Elijah looks down at himself, visibly grimacing at the sight before him. He takes an involuntary step back, jerking slightly.

This is all so wrong.

Everything is just wrong.

* * *

Elijah just doesn't anticipate Alia being so good at this whole avoidance thing. He knows her. He used to anyway.

It shouldn't be that hard to get her alone long enough to talk.

Because they have to.

They really, really need to.

Elijah is a complete and utter mess without Alia. As soon as the girl removes herself from Elijah's life completely, the original is forced to acknowledge just how interlinked the two of them actually are.

Without Alia blowing up his phone - because Alia is the one who always sends the first text, which is usually a thoughtful goodmorning text - Elijah finds his fingers twitching.

And, it isn't as if Elijah hasn't tried.

Between warring with himself over whether to push for communication or allow the avoidance - there's a small part of him that finds comfort in not dealing with the fact he kissed her - Elijah constantly knocks on Alia's door and sends her endless messages.

Alia, predictably, doesn't respond to texts or answer the phone. She also doesn't open her door, even when Elijah is sure she's inside.

The mere fact that Elijah wants to keep their 'situation' quiet is the only reason he doesn't break down the door.

They're broken, and he doesn't know how to fix them.

* * *

His entire body freezes when he sees Alia sitting at the kitchen table in his home. She's dressed in grey sweatpants, a sweatshirt and thick socks. Her hair is in a messy ponytail and she's wearing her glasses. She has one knee bent with her foot on her chair, and her fingers are curled around a cup of coffee as she holds it to her lips.

She looks so painfully beautiful that it actually hurts to look at her.

And she doesn't so much as look at him.

And he's done.

Thirty long days. Of no acknowledgements. Of nothing. And he's losing his fucking mind.

* * *

Later that night he shows up at her door.

He doesn't know or care what time it is. All he knows is he needs to see the life in Alia's eyes to chase away the lifeless image he just witnessed in his nightmares.

Elijah comes to a stop at Alia's door, already just knowing it's locked. Everything about the Bennett has been shut away, and it hurts. It physically hurts, and Elijah needs her. He needs her to open the door and just make everything better.

"Angel, Alia- please my love," he calls out, his voice already catching. He rests his palm against the wood, this stupid physical barrier between them.

"Please," he whispers. "Please just open the door. I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry. I - I didn't react well, but we need to talk about this." He squeezes his eyes tightly shut. "You just surprised me, and - " he stops, sighing. "Look, I'm hurting too, Alia. Hiding from this isn't going to help with anything, and I know you're smart enough to know that."

Nothing.

"Alia, please," he says. "Just open the door. Please let me see you. I - I just want to see you." The tears in his eyes are blurring his vision.

"I miss you, okay? I miss you, and I can just feel myself losing you, and you won't even talk to me, and I know I deserve this...that it's my fault but I'm going to need you to meet me halfway, Alia. I can't do it alone, and we've been through far too much for this to be it. We have to work together to get past this, so I need you to open this door. Please."

His pleas are met with silence, and it - it angers him.

"Alia, you're supposed to be my best friend," he says, his voice breaking. "You're supposed to be there for everything. Even this. Especially this. You - you're better than this. You're supposed to be better than this." Elijah closes his eyes, hating himself for his next words. "You owe me, Alia. You owe me for all the times I was there. You owe me, so you have to open the door. Open the door, Alia. Just open the fucking door!"

He drops his head down to lean his forehead against the wood, his breathing rapid and his tears flowing. "That's how desperate I am to talk to you; to see you. I don't want to play that card, but you're giving me no choice, and you owe me! Jesus, Alia, can you just be the person you're trying to be and open the fucking door? God, I am so fucking mad at you right now!"

Silence.

There's just silence.

Elijah's anger reaches a boiling point, flaming white and hot. He hasn't slept and his emotions are all over the place and all he wants to do is break through this stupid, fucking door to get to Alia to make sure she's alive, and that all leads to him slamming his fist hard against said door.

Once.

Twice

Three times.

Four.

The wood shatters beneath his palm. And he abruptly pulls back.

"What is happening?" he asks the empty space around him. "What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?"

He has to go. He can't believe he just- he leaves.

* * *

"You're a fucking idiot," Niklaus says as unsympathetic as can be. "Such a fucking idiot. Do you want to tell me what's going on in that twisted head of yours?"

Elijah audibly swallows, considering his options. He supposes a semblance of the truth isn't wildly inaccurate. "Sometimes, I have nightmares where she doesn't survive," he confesses softly. "When they happen, it's easy for me to go and just see her. But - "

"But her door was locked," Niklaus finishes. "And you decided to use your fists to break it down."

"I - I wasn't really thinking," he explains. "I just knew I had to see her; I had to lay eyes on her to know for sure, and I - "

Niklaus smiles in sympathy. "She's fine," he says. "I promise she's fine. I saw her with my own two eyes. She's a little shaken, but she's whole. I think you just scared her."

"I think I scared myself."

* * *

"Do you think he hates me?"

"For what?"

"Not answering the door."

"My brother could never hate you, Alia," Klaus says. "He loves you too much for that, and you know he's going to forgive you in an instant."

"Do I deserve that?"

"You deserve all the good, Alia."

"But I'm not a good person," Alia instantly counters.

"Who says that?" Bonnie questions appearing literally out of nowhere. "Tell me. I'll beat them up."

Alia laughs softly, "Thank you, guys."

"For what?"

"I don't know," she says. "Just, thank you."

* * *

When Elijah walks past Alia's door, he hears the sobs through the wood. The gut-wrenching, heartbreaking sobs that pierce Elijah's heart.

And then he hears it.

The scream.

The guttural, painful, full-body, earth-shattering scream that comes from the very depths of Alia's soul.

It's muffled by a pillow, but it's still piercing enough to break him.

* * *

It breaks them both.

* * *

It's Rebekah who drops the news days later, like she's releasing a nuclear bomb right onto Elijah's already-bruised heart without a care in the world.

"So, Alia's leaving Mystic Falls."

Elijah's head snaps up so fast, his neck actually clicks. "What?" He practically shouts the word, and Rebekah gives him an unimpressed look as she leans back from the volume of Elijah's voice.

"I'm sitting right here," she says. "There's no need to yell."

"Alia is not leaving."

Rebekah frowns at him as she reaches across the kitchen table and steals a wedge of apple. "Well, she says she is," Rebekah says. "Something about wanting to be on a college campus."

"No," Elijah says, his heart burning wildly in her chest. This isn't happening. "No."

Rebekah raises her eyebrows. "By all means, Elijah, try to convince her to say," she says. "But she looks pretty set on the idea. She's already found a new place and everything."

He feels as if he's had everything knocked out of him and he can't get it back. What? No. Alia can't leave. She can't. Elijah's definitely going to lose her that way, even though he's been doing a good enough job of that already.

* * *

While Alia may be an expert at avoiding Elijah; Elijah is an expert at being stubborn, and this calls for drastic measures.

He and Alia are going to talk about this, and he's going to get her to stay. She can't just leave, and she sure as hell can't leave without eventellinghim.

What is that?

How can she think that's even remotely okay?

So, Elijah camps out in the Bennett home, waiting for his (he thinks) best friend to come home so they canhave it out. It's a pitiful role reversal.

"You're not leaving."

Alia freezes where she is, cursing herself for thinking she could come and go without Elijah trying to talk to her.

"Were you even going to tell me?"

Alia turns to face him on the couch, her own expression as passive as ever. She's been forced to school her features whenever they're around each other, and it's just so terribly exhausting. "Tell you what, exactly?" she asks. "I was under the impression I said everything I needed to say."

Elijah visibly flinches, but he forces himself to rise to his feet and move towards Alia. "You're not leaving," he repeats.

"Why not?"

"Because - because you can't."

"Actually, I can," Alia counters, tamping down on her own anger. "And, I am."

"Why?"

Alia's facial expression turn incredulous. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Rebekah says you want to be closer to campus."

Alia sighs. "That's part of it, yes," she admits. "But I also just can't be here anymore."

Elijah's eyes pool with tears.

"Don't do that," Alia says, shaking her head. "It's been inevitable for some time, Elijah. I just - Ican't. You have to understand that."

"I need you."

Alia closes her eyes for a moment. "You can't say things like that to me. You can't."

"But it's true," Elijah counters.

"Please stop," Alia says, and she's actually begging this time. "I can't keep doing this with you, Elijah. For once, I'm making a decision for myself, and I really don't need you to try to sway that. I've already done so much for you." She closes her eyes again. "I can't do this," she says. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get over you when I can barely see past you."

When she opens her eyes again, there are tears in them, and Elijah can barely live a moment longer.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be reminded of what you can't have every second of every day?" she asks, "You're everywhere I look. You're literally in every fucking breath I take. I - I won't survive here. So, you're just going to have to find a way to accept it, okay? I need you to do that for me. I won't ask anything else of you. Just, allow me to get through this the way I need to."

"Alia I am in love with you."

She sobs a helpless sound. "You're just saying that so I don't leave."

"No," he growls. "No. Look at me. Just look at me and see how much I love you."

They aren't touching and that's probably for the best.

"I have to believe that, one day, I'll stop feeling like this."

"Like what?"

"Like I can barely breathe," she says. "I - I just can't seem to catch my breath when you're around, and I need to get away before I end up suffocating." She frowns. "That sounds awful, doesn't it? Like you're going to end up killing me if I stay?" She hums in thought, and it's as if Elijah isn't even there. "Horrible, yes, but accurate."

"I love-"

Taking steps forward as her stomach coils in anticipation of whateverthisis. "You aren't even here for me. You're just here to ease your own guilt!"

Elijah stares at her incredulously. Okay, it's kind of true, but it's not theonlyreason he's here. "I'm here to apologise, and you're making it exceptionally difficult. I don't know why you're acting like a spoilt brat!"

"Well, you would know, wouldn't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"No!" she says, losing it completely as she steps into Elijah's space. "You're not excused. You're annoying and a pain in the ass and you're a liar, and you made me fall in love with you and now I fucking hate you." The world is suddenly spinning and Alia feels so out of control, she can barely see straight.

Elijah is, predictably, taken aback by the venom in her voice. "Why are you so angry with me?"

"Because you are ruining me," she cries, like a damn bursting inside of her. She justbreaks, and she's powerless to stop it from pouring out. "Because you are constantly destroying me." Her heart is aching in a way it never has before. "You kissed me, Elijah You kissed me when you knew I couldn't resist. You asked me to give you something that broke me into tiny, jagged pieces, because now I know what it feels like to be wanted by you, for even a moment, but you'll never be mine. You asked me to kiss you while you were with someone else, and I hate you for it."

"Alia, I - "

"I'm trying," she says, her voice layered in pain. "God, I'm trying so hard to get over you, and you can't even do me the courtesy of letting me. I asked you to leave me alone, and now you're here acting like you care and - "

"I do care," Elijah interjects. Then, and against his better judgment, he adds, "I love you, Alia."

"No," she says, shaking her head as if she's trying to dispel the words. "No. Don't say that. Stop saying things like that. God, do you have any idea how much damage you can do?"

"Alia," Elijah says, stepping forward. "I love you."

"No!" Alia screams, stepping back and covering her ears. "Stop! Just, stop! You don't love me. You don't care. Don't you get it? This is what Ineed. I have to believe that for this to work. You can't tell me otherwise! I hate you! I hate you and your amazing voice and your stupid smile and your contagious laugh, and I hate that I can't stop thinking about how badly I want to kiss you and touch you and be with you and I don't want this, so I need you to stop. You have to stop because I don't want this anymore. I don't want any of this."

Alia's voice is broken and she's openly sobbing, her body shaking. Her throat is raw, and she just can't seem to stop crying.

"I hate you," Alia cries. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." She crumples under the weight of her beaten, battered heart, and she drops to her knees. "But I love you. I love you so much, and I don't want this. I don't want any of this. Please. Please just make it stop.Please."

"Alia," Elijah chokes out, and there are tears in his voice. "I can't-"

"I don't know how," Alia sobs, burying her face in her hands. "Help me," she begs. "Tell me how to stop wanting you. How do I just stop loving you?"

Elijah drops to his knees in front of her and wraps his arms around her, but Alia resists, trying to shove him away. She doesn't want his touch or his comfort or his warmth when it will never be hers.

Elijah doesn't give up, though, his arms strong and determined as he keeps them around Alia's trembling body.

Alia continues to struggle, fighting and squirming and screaming and crying until she just gives up, her body sagging from exhaustion. She clutches tightly at Elijah's jacket and presses her face into the crook of his neck.

"You lied to me," she mumbles against cold, pale skin. "Everything isn't going to be okay."

Elijah lets out a shuddering breath. "Perhaps not," he allows. "Perhaps it'll be better."

"I hate you."

Elijah sighs, rubbing a circle on Alia's back. "I love you."

Alia tenses.

"Angel," Elijah says after a moment, pulling away to be able to look at her face. "Alia, I am in love with you."

And Alia just starts to laugh uncontrollably… that quickly turns into another fit of painful sobs. This time, she shifts right away when Elijah moves to hug her, and the sting is a little too much for Elijah to bear.

Alia's next words also don't help. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get. Out."

He wants to fight it. He wants them to have it out right now, but even he can recognise when they've both been pushed beyond their respective limits. So, with a quick nod, he shakily gets to his feet. He bends to kiss the top of Alia's head, more surprised than anything that the girl even lets him.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry," he whispers into soft dark hair. "And, I do love you. I love you with everything I am."

And then he leaves.

Whatever shape the ball is, it's currently sitting in Alia's court, though still close enough for Elijah to reach out and take it back.

* * *

Alia leaves.

But she comes back.

It's hard. So achingly hard. There's a lot of missteps and pain and heart ache but they find their new normal.

Only it's not so normal because everything is different.


End file.
